Ambivalence consumes me
Love and hate war within my head
Drawn and yet repulsed
I'm filled with constant dread
I yearn for his affection
Yet I don't want him near me
If I can't have his full attention
I don't want any of it.
His half-hearted attempts to please me
Only make me want him less
His unwilling touch sickens me
This much I will confess.
While he sleeps beside me
I gaze upon his face
A jumble of emotions fill me
My heart begins to race
Why do I even want him
Does anybody know?
Yet if I don't want him
Why do my tears flow?
Copyright V.A.R.D. 2005
Oh dear husband can't you see
Just how boring you can be
Sitting on your ass all day
Get the hell up!
I want to play!
All you want to do is sleep
Watch TV, make not a peep
Sitting on your ass at work
You never move
You're such a jerk!
You're in your thirties but who can tell?
I've seen more action from Mattel
I've always known you could be cold
But who'd have known
You'd act so old?
We don't fool around… your drive is latent
I've seen more life in a geriatric patient
So listen up my sad old man
Get off your ass
And make a plan
I may be sick but I'm not dead yet
I need more fun than I currently get
So heed my words my boring friend
I'll go out dancing
While you buy Depends.
Copyright V.A.R.D. 2005
Try as I might I can't get free
Of this despair surrounding me
Wavering 'tween love and hate
Uselessly cursing at my fate
Can't you see how bad things are?
Each day my heart bears one more scar
Your selfishness just sickens me
Just how heartless can you be?
Caring only about yourself
Everyone else put on a shelf
Left to languish and gather dust
Filling me with such disgust
Not only for you but myself as well
For letting you lead me to this hell
For staying where I am not wanted
By memories forever haunted...
Copyright V.A.R.D. 2006
Don't think that because I love you that you always have free reign
To do as you please while ignoring my needs,
causing me so much pain
Don't think that because I'm fool enough to be in love with you
That I don't know how far you go
Or what you say and do
Don't think that what I don't know won't hurt, just to get your way
The time always comes when I find out
And I'm the one who pays
Don't think that just by making love all pains will go away
It doesn't work, not anymore
My pain you cannot sway
Don't think that you have control anymore over what I will not do
You've pushed too far, I've had enough
Soon betrayal will come to you…
Copyright V.A.R.D. 2007