Mourningdeath's blog: "my first blog"

I just finished my first dj mix of some of my favorite bands. In the mix includes Suicide Commando, Funker Vogt, E Nomine, Nightwish, and more. I love it and i cant stop listening to it. now if i could only get it on CT for my page music or even in my stash so that everyone else can enjoy it also. If anyone would like to hear it let me know.

Crimson red blood runs down my arms to your bitter sweet lips of eternal kiss. with every last breath in an endless dream with the sweet soft serenity of a bloody mess. I remember the wind blowing past ur bloody dress, through the tress, haveing the deepest touch. I watched you fire red hair as i drifted away, Like an ocean of blood calling to me. I recall the darkness sweeping the land as if the darkest rain cloud was forming to bring fury from gods hand. Its hard to beleive that you threw me away. u let me go and you turned your face. I never really got to know you before it ended like this. Now I am helpless and you are gone. Crimson red blood runs down my arms to your bitter sweet lips of eternal kiss. I know that i will miss once you buried beneath the soil in my backyard.

Apperantly i can never be forgiven for what i do. everything i do in life can and will be thrown back in my face as if im not important. everyone i must say that if you have something to say then just say it. According to everyone elses actions i have no feelings. I dont get mad, i dont cry, im never happy, and i dont love. So say what you want and i will take it in a bury as if it never exsisted. Thats the way everyone wants me to be then so be it.

Have you ever had that feeling that someone you loved didnt really love you back. I get this way sometimes and i dont like that feeling. People just dont understand me and it makes me feel like im the only one who does not exsist. I do everything for other people and i get hardly anything back. Am i selfish for wanting something back or am i just Expecting too much? i find that the only real pupose to life is to die. We live and we make ourselves into this great thing just to meet the ultimate goal of death. No one can avoid it it will come and it will take you. I think that i am starting to understand the meaning of life and i dont like it. Why do we blind ourselves from the truth? Isnt that what we all seek? The truth is we blind ourselves because we are afraid of death. I can honestly say for the first time i welcome death. Im not suicidal at all. If it comes soon im ok with that. I feel that love cannot be held within my heart because im hard to understand. Even for myself. I expect that me and my GF wont last much longer and to her i say im sorry for makeing u mad. We dont need to discuss the issue at all but i know you are on ur last nerves and i know that i will take you overboard. Im not afraid to face the truth i welcome the truth because its going to happen whether i like it or not. To all the people who think they have nothing. Everyone has something. Just some people dont realize how powerful it is. Its the one thing that drives all of us on. Its our life force. Its love. I have it and i know i have it. I just cant hold on to it. I say try to hold on to it as best u can because once its gone its hard finding more of it. Trust me i know.

I posted some new videos on my profile check them out they are fantastic. I put nothing but industrail music. I got some NIN in the mix with a song from downward spiral to with teeth (the new album). I got some punk Industrial and even bands i know u have never heard like E Nomine and Still Life Decay......and if u have u will be my best friend. I didnt get everything i wanted but i guess this will do for now. They dont have Suicide Commando or and Combichrist (which by the way if u are into bondage as i am then Combichrist is for u). Pay special Attention to Still Life Decay. They are getting bigger but this song is life and yes thats how his voice is supposed to sound. And for those of you who pay attention yes that is two drum sets in one set. Have a fantastic day, Mourningdeath

Well i guess i will put this one on the subject of my band. today i was informed my bass player is dropping out. If u want more info on my band then go to www.myspace.com/deathbyseduction