1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her
with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many
times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the
same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of
time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but
more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think
you’ve got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow;
you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to
last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get
them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be
cured.
13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops
listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she
can’t stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.
17. It
is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your
arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is
hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
21.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night — Then on Sunday pray for crop
failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called
off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair
on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates
against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince,
you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than
sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like
it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
30. Love is a hole in
the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had
gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the
moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33.
Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some
old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn
gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by
impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have
loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.
40.
Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain
from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when
she’s tired — or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have
had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
44. What matters is not the length of the
wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than
overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as
long as he doesn’t love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all
jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never
stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good
bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not
revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the
other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are
thinking.
56. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.
57. There is no
difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go
to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman
differs from another.
60. “This won’t hurt, I promise,”
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