miss lins's blog: "Morgenstern's Sanctuary"

Randy Stover, 24, Vandalia IL, formerly of Clay City IL, drown Friday night in the Kaskaskia River near Vandalia at the U.S. Route 40 bridge. The Fayette County Coroner is investigating the death, but, have yet to release any findings. The Fayette County authorities began the search for Stover at about 8 pm after two young men reported that they saw a man go into the river and not come up. The body was recovered by authorities at about 11:15pm Friday night. I went to high school with this kid, he was a good guy until he got out of high school and got into drugs really bad. From what I got from other people talkin', he got arrested for drugs like a week before he drowned and he was livin' out there by the river. :(

Sometimes I lie wide awake in my bed wonderin' about my future. And keep askin' myself if I'm actually ever goin' to be truly happy with myself? Or if I actually have a soul-mate? Maybe He's the one... That I would give my everything just to be with him right now. To have my arms wrapped around him and never let go. I want to feel his touch I want to know that he'll always be by my side and never let me go. But sometimes I wonder if he actually knows that I truly love him and he is my everythin'. He's my penguin, my pookie... I love him with everythin' I have. -Linsey June 20th, 2007

Godsmack - I Fuckin' Hate You For everything you do I'd like to swallow you And everyday I'm gonna blame you Even if you justify Every fucking bullshit lie It only makes me want to break you You pull me down And you crucify my name You make me insane It's broken now Don't ever look my way Don't even think I'm playin' 'Cause I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me When you repeatedly Take advantage of me The only thought I get of you sickens me Everybody knows you're fake You're everything I fucking hate And I'm everything that you could never be You pull me down And you crucify my name You make me insane It's broken now Don't ever look my way Don't even think I'm playin' 'Cause I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me (Fuck you) (Fuck you) (Fuck you) You pull me down And you crucify my name You make me insane It's broken now Don't ever look my way Don't even think I'm playin' 'Cause I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me And I fucking hate you You're such a liar And I love to hate you You're all the same to me Fuck you (fuck you) Fuck you (fuck you) Fuck you (fuck you) Fuck you (fuck you)

I thought you actually cared and truly loved me. But in the end, it was just a lie. Just like everything else in my life. There for awhile, I was living on a lie, because you told me you loved me. You were the one who was clouding my emotions and feelings for someone else. Who actually did give a fuck about me. He's the one who's still there beside me. But now, I don't think you even care about our friendship, since it is slowly fadin' away into existance. It made me see the real you. You're nothin' to me. Just another guy who tried to fuck with my mind & heart. But I caught on before it got to far. But yet you kept on tellin' me you would always love me, but you also told me that your feelings were fadin' away. Bullshit. Lies. I don't need your shit and I especially don't need you in my life. So Goodbye Forever. You're just a nothin' to me now. -Linsey June 17th 2007

I don't need him in my life anymore. I had a lot of time to myself to think about it. And a lot of my friends tellin' me that I don't need him either. Since he has the thought of me not carin' or lovin' him so deep into his mind, that he won't believe me. So be it, I'm movin' on. I know I can do better. Apparently he already has moved on, so it's my turn to do it as well. And if he don't want to be my friend anymore, tha's his fault not mine.

This is the worse Christmas ever. It's rainin' and earlier this mornin', I think I've lost both my best-friend & boyfriend. I don't really remember any of it, but I knew I went cryin' to bed. Could it get any worse ? - Actually, I hope it won't. I hope I know I have those two special people back in my life.

Lifetime We're not going to die young, we're going to grow old together. And our love for each other will be forever and eternally. We are connected as one. This lifetime will not be enough for me. I want to spend as many lifetimes with you as much as I possibly can. My love for you gets stronger each passing day. It's an adrenaline rush seepin' through my veins, wantin' me to stay alive only for you, my Mouse. I love you with all my smiles, breath and tears. **11-17-06** Dedicated to: Trevor Lee Myers Written by: Linsey Kate Schnepper