Well, things in my life sure haven't settled down by any means. I'm stressed as hell. It seems like if it CAN go wrong right now it WILL go wrong. I work at 945 in the morning, yet i've been asleep all day, so i'm going to have to force myself to actually sleep tonight. I've just been so stressed.... between this stuff going on, and my sleeping habits, and lack there of, and just all the shit going on in my life, i feel like i can't control anything. I dislike not being in control. I'm going nuts. I'm just so sick of people, so sick of drama, so sick of life in general right now. No one really understands what I'm going through right now, and it's like, I feel so bad. I can't really go into detail why, but i feel like so much is all my fault. I feel like if i had just paid a little more attention, cared a little bit more, or done something different I could have prevented everything... could i have? i dunno... everytime something bad happens i feel the same way.... i always feel like i could have done something to change things, i could have done something to make things better or kept things from happening... i feel like i have the ability to fix things, or control things, but i don't for some reason. i mean, i know i don't but it sure feels like i do...
i dunno...
anyways, I know i've been distant from everyone recently, and I'm sorry, just email me, and lemme knwo how life is... give me some good news :) much love to everyone! MWAH!