sombre's blog: "Mind Scrying"

Empty 13 Dec 2004 From sleep into darkness I awaken. Trying to keep my feelings locked inside. My tears are stinging my eyes. This pain is to real to hide. Why am I forsaken? I am broken. Why am I misbegotten? I am opened. Hold me like you used to. No! Your gone to be forgotten. The hurt I can't suppress. My heart aches with emptiness. The pain won't stay gone away. I wish for blessed numbness. Why am I forsaken? I am broken. Why am I misbegotten? I am opened. Hold me like you used to. No! Your gone to be forgotten. The sickness in my stomach greets me. It is never far away. A never ending knot of anguish. I just can't make it fade. Why am I forsaken? I am broken. Why am I misbegotten? I am opened. Hold me like you used to. No! Your dead to be forgotten. Here the waves of pain come again. I taste the salt from my tears. All those years lost, I cry. Time to lock the hurt back inside. Why am I forsaken? I am broken. Why am I misbegotten? I am opened. Hold me like you used to. No! Your dead to be forgotten. Epitaph from Within 12 Dec 2004 Here lies my heart and soul. Left in ruin by a dead world. These mortals have desroyed the love in me and rended my tranquility. My heart and soul walks in a dead world destroyed the love in me leaving nothing of me Here lies my heart and soul. Left silent by a sick world. These mortals have broken me and left trash of my art. My heart and soul walks in a dead world Destroyed, the love of me Leaving nothing of me Here lies my heart and soul. Left inept by an ignorant world. These mortals have no hope with me and sunder my sensebility. My heart and soul walks in a dead world Destroyed, the love of me Leaving nothing of me Here lies my heart and soul. Left to wrot in an infertal world. These mortals have isolated me and razed its creativity. My heart and soul walks in a dead world Dstroyed, the love of me Leaving nothing of me. Here lies my heart and soul. A grave for it in a stone world. These mortals have this testament of me and have given no final sanctity. My heart and soul walks in a dead world Destroyed, the love of me Leaving nothing of me Pain 30 Jul 2003 Why does love need be an exercise in pain? Why is it that when you care for someone they shove it in your face screaming? Why is it that when you try and fight for someone they run from you in fear? What did I do to deserve these daggers in my heart, mind and soul? Am I truly at fault? Is being strong willed and a fighter a crime? I have been through too much, too soon to fade to grey and let the world win. Where others have wilted and died, I have endured, suffered, cried, and lived. I shall endure eternally, my spirit is undying. I cannot bend to the will of others even if it slowly eats me like a cancer. Others have no idea of what I endure, when all I do is for another. I shall never quit. I scream, fuck you all. Odors from the Heart 07 May 2003 It comes and goes like a brief breeze hither and thither floating like air thru the trees. A soft feminine scent of flowers and musk which soaks the wind shortly after dusk. It delights upon your wind and like birds to soar on. Let it wrap itself around you, and take you far beyond the horizon. Odors of the heart can be scented far ahead for love begins and ends with dreams in her bed. You will long for her lingering essence to mix and mingle with your own. Your arms will ache and mourn with her passing to leave you lost and withdrawn. She will come again the next eve to take your heart and love. There you will lie in the morning once again waiting to rise with her in the evening like a sweet dove. You to will come and go like soft breezes hither and thither like air thru trees. Now your scent and hers of flowers and musk will soak the wind together after dusk. Loves Muse Who stood firm against thyne tempest? I as always thyne shelter Who gave thee shore forsooth? I as always your rock Who brought thee freshness when thou thirsted? I as always your river Yet a cruel flower, she won thy hand Thou hast condemned me to shadowy memory I your fairest muse. Thou cast my voiced gift from thee I your muse could nae thaw thyne heart Shall I stand still as the tree? While I watch thy fateful rose wound yea again. Nae, I yet endure a fettered wraith of natures song I watch thyne heart bleed full and red love. Who taketh thyne hurts and shield thou? I as always your shelter Who let thee lean thyself to rest? I as always your rock Who let thee grace for sustenance? I as always thyne river. Lone and Joyless I am lone and joyless for my heart has died. It went with my knight when to war he did ride. He charged the field with his sword held high. Rallying his warriors was struck down to die. He fell on the field in the soft ground to lie. Now sees me here alone a widow am I. His warriors rode home with the story of his fall. Black banners draped over parapits and walls And my tears and cries did echo through castle halls Now no more will he hear my maidens voice call. See now I go to stand at his grave. This bloody ground and home of brave. To remember his name,deeds,love and caress. Then to castle return and remain forever lone and joyless. Ode to Love Tommie Stovall A gift of love is pain. It flows from the heart as rain. A gift of love is sorrow. It whispers on the wind of the morrow. A gift of love is sin. Many secrets of women and men. A gift of love is fantasy. It is dreams of ecstasy. A gift of love is joy. Play between a girl and boy. The final gift of love is eternity. Two hearts together as one entity.

The Prayer Sky Father looks down on us and sighs, while Mother Earth cries for her children. We have lost our place in the Great Wheel. We no longer learn the knowledge of our forefathers and mothers. We have closed our ears and hardened our hearts like wayward children that stomp their feet and shake their fists at their surroundings. Mother Earth's Trail of Tears is marked with sorrowful footprints, bloodied with intolerance, ignorance, and hatred. How can we find our way home? Sky Father and Mother Earth wait to greet us once more. If you look to the sunset where land and sky become one, you can see them there arms outstretched to embrace us. Our hearts need only love that which was given us, and our minds remember that which was forgotten. Then we will all be Brothers and Sisters again in the Great Village. Listen to Mother Earth's song and Feel Sky Father's strength. We will find our way home one day and be lost no more. Embrace the old ways. Mother Earth will cry no longer. This is my prayer for us all. Troubled Oh Great Spirit I am troubled I have come seeking my ancestors Are they here? Do they know me? I have seen a people with fire in their eyes and courage in their hearts. Now I only see tracks as if done on hands and knees. Have we forgotten to walk two footed and tall? I have heard a people with voices which are clear and wise toned. Their words tell stories and sing songs. Why now do we seem so silent? I have seen a people dancing graceful in movement. They seem to leave the earth, and their faces full of joy. Why now do we seem so heavy and strained? I have seen a people of mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. They are passing love, knowledge, and history. Why now do we seem so sad, angry, and distant to one another? Oh, I am troubled I have come seeking my ancestors Are they here? Do they know my heart? Do they know themselves? Silver's Song Silver's flute is calling thru the night, dulcet tones in pure moonlight. Love and kindness within each sound A more peaceful gift cannot be found. She sends the music as soft as touch, to reach those who need carressed as such. Her music encircles many a heart, to bring great joy from her simple art. Her face seems alive with each note called. Her song echoes thru forest, hill, and hall. It reaches every creature there Silver's love and warmth to share.

23 Jul 2005 The Rain The rain keeps falling. I can hear nature calling. The wind through the trees is blowing. Steam off the mountains is rising. I want to go out running. In it reveling and playing. I cannot bring myself to go out. I sigh and look back to my bed tired. At the glass of my window I am staring. Trying to push thru the pain I am suffering. To be able to do what others do I am wishing. The thoughts through my mind are realing. My body is alive with what I am feeling. To do or not to do is the question? I look within myself for some sort of answer. My mind only gives me doubt and frustration. My heart gives me love and courage. My soul is full of longing and searching. I take a deep breath from my introspection. Again, I realise no simple answers are forthcoming. Yet the rain keeps on falling. Nature keeps on calling. Life keeps on going. The wind keeps on blowing. I will keep on striving. The Present I find myself sitting watching the lightning glimmer. I hear the call of thunder and marvel at it all. Who am I but one small person in this great big Wheel? How am I to make a change to make the world think and feel? All I can do is stand proudly and hold my head up high. To share my words and thoughts, with those that happen by. So if you find yourself reading my words, please remember this. Honor what you have been given. It is a blessed Gift. Just imagine how this came! I was just watching the lightning glimmer. I heard that thunder call. A small, simple present came from marveling at it all. The Gray Lady 16 May 2005 A visage forms from mystic memory and fog. A flowery, feminine scent fills the air. Who knows this spirit is here? Who knows why she lingers there? You spy her whispy form as she floats by. A great sadness filling your soul. You second guess yourself and blink your eyes. What? Wait. Where did she go? Your mind wonders who she is? An urge to find out more. Who is this spirit that is here? Why does she linger there? A deep dread creeps upon you. As you spy her once more. Her poor heart broken once and final. Now she dwells restless eternal. A strained sob escapes your breast. Her face seems to look upon you. A desperate pain is felt. Your emotions, not your own, into despair melt Overwhelmed, you run away. To find that day is dawning. Was what you saw real? your imagination running? You know your home is not your own. It is she who still lives here. Sharing your dwelling with this lonely ghost. Do not give into your fear. You wait, her visage forming in the fog. That flowery scent fills the air. You know the spirit has come again. You know why she lingers here. A sad, knowing smile upon your face. She drifts about you to and fro. She seeks happiness again. To tell her story and go. You take your pen to paper. Her story you will write. Now her memory no longer fades. She will be free this night. Her visage no longer forms in the fog. That flowery scent filling air. The spirit not coming again. She no longer lingers there.

A Poem Tribute to a couple of lady performers at Ren Faire Iris And Rose: October18,2007 Here's to the ladies Iris and Rose! The best of the blossoms so everyone knows. Iris is lovely and Rose perfumed sweet, and all the Lads and some Lassies do clammer to meet. If you should find yourself at one of their shows, your in for a treat. For jokes and songs you will have plenty, and be prepared those ladies speak quite candidly. You will find when they are gone and you after, that the day has been brightened thanks to their laughter. Don't be afraid to crack a wee smile, when thinking of Iris and Rose in the after while. Now if you those ladies should happen to meet, Be extra kind when they you do greet. You may just gety lucky, or get a big treat, Who knows? From the best of the ladies Iris and Rose! Ansteorren Virtues Strength Honor Loyalty and Love Ansteorren warriors fight with strenght to strike their foes upon the ground Ansteorren warriors fight with honor to bring glory to their crown Ansteorren warriors fight with loyalty to shine for all to see Ansteorren warriors fight with love to protect their homes and families Ansteorren women lead with strength they stand behind their men Ansteorren women lead with honor they will not fail a friend Ansteorren women lead with loyalty to bring glory to their queen Ansteorren women lead with love they uphold the undying dream These are the Ansteorren virtues we prize above the rest So put our strength honor loyalty and love to the test These you will see with bright shining light And know that we the warriors and women show forth Ansteorren might Where doth beauty hide itself. It lies in Bordermarch with the ladies fair. Whos beauty, heart, and grace they show forth for all everywhere Whos pride and majesty doth show for all to see So where doth beauty hide itself It lies in Bordermarch with the ladies there. This poem won me the improv at the fall melees. Lady Katitcha Brendwyth Eledin Stovold June 16,2000 Here I doth sit upon mine bench in thought. Mine heart is both full of joy and sorrow, for I have just been given largess for mine performance amongst bards. Alas, I am hoping for another to be summoned and heart made glad, for he deserves it more than I. Then what, ho, doth I hear mine name upon the lips of Their Majesties' Herald? Surely not I, for I am not worthy of any praise. I have done nothing that anyone should take notice of. I rise and am guided by mine true friend toward Their Majesties' thrones. Yet here have I arrived somehow; I find myself trying to loose the knot of apprehension within me. I kneel in a strange presence for mine self, and feel the nights breeze whisper soothingly in mine ears. The Herald's words echo the Award of Arms to me from Their Majesties. Surely not. Did I hear this properly? Slowly I am bid rise by Them and turned toward my peers. The King declares, "Here is Lady Katitcha!" The fear of unknowing hath given way to heart's delight and merriment. But who am I to enjoy such? My thoughts do turn again to another who deserves this more than I. I slowly walk back to mine seat, and doth speak a wish softly amongst "hizzas" of mine household. Then I hear the name of that wish to come forth. Oh, what happiness have I! Ahh, how fortunate am I. I have been granted three gifts this night, and my heart is glad. Now with glad heart and smiling face do I eat mine feast with mine house. This night is grand, and may it live always in mine thoughts and heart.