The sweetest girl youll ever meet's blog: "messages"

I hate not knowing where you are some nights I hate not getting to talk with you every night I hate only having 10minute conversations with you I hate that we don't get to be together I hate that while you're having fun, I'm sitting here worrying I hate that I feel guilty when we don't get to talk I hate that you tell me you're going to call or text me, but don't I seriously love you so much it hurts. It hurts because I don't want to ruin it and lose something I've honestly never had before! I'm willing to work with you through this rough time just so we can be together. I honestly just want you to see how much I love n care about you!

I was talking with a friend last night about problems we've both been having with guys. It seems like we find guys that we connect with and shit, but that still doesn't matter. We can't be the girlfriend who gives them the booty call whenever they want, we are just the bootycall. Mind you we both have young kids, so we aren't looking to be someones bootycall. We just don't get why guys go for the booty call over a girlfriend and bootycall all together. My personal opinion on bootycalls is I don't have a problem with them. I don't mind bootycalls because some days I just need laid to relax, but to an extent I do mind it. I guess I was just brought up that if you like someone and your attracted to them you might wanna take a chance before you lose your turn.

Has anyones x ever told them this! That you are not aloud to say "Miss you" to your friends. Because apparently I have said it to 20or so males on my friends list! Yeah I have said "Miss you" to some friends because I haven't talked to them in ages! Just didnt know that wasn't aloud

Love straight up fucking sucks! I'm done! I can't do it anymore. I'm playing the field like everyone else now! The first day I ever talked with J-boogie! I fell in love! I never fell that hard for someone. I knew he was the one, but apparently I was wrong. We were together 10months until this girl Laura came along. Needless to say he told her that we weren't together when we were. So now two days ago we decided to give us a try again. I never laughed or talked so much with someone like I did two nights ago. So after we decided to try it again, I become the bitch apparently. I can't start a conversation without getting in trouble. Oh and last night started a fight because I was talking to GUYS! on here who actually cared how I was feeling! Then today I get bitched at for always crying. Seriously I understand that we both have busy schedules, but you think you'd make time for your girlfriend. You think you'd talk to her on the phone when you can't physically be with her, right? No, he talked to Laura every night and when I'd ask about it I was in the wrong! The funny part to all of this, I still love him! So my conclusion is LOVE SUCKS!

These last couple of weeks I've realized guys are ALL talk and NO action. I'm getting sick of it! *Don't tell me you like me then do nothing about it after you find out I like you too *Don't take me out and not make a move. Yeah I want a gentleman(someone who will treat me n my daughter right) but I want a bad boy too *Don't tell me you want a relationship with me then fuck me over *Don't tell me you like kids when really you're just telling me that because I have a daughter *Don't tell me you are going to meet up with me and stand me up. There's more to this, but my minds going in a million different directions that I can't think of them all right now! Hope everyone is having a good night! xoxoxo

*Kissing is healthy *Bananas are good for cramps *It's good to cry *Chicken soup actually makes you feel better *94% of boys would love if you sent them flowers *Only apply mascara to your top lashes *Its actually true boys DO insult you if they like you *89% of guys want YOU to make the first move *Chocolate will make you feel better *Most boys think it is cute when you say the wrong thing *a good friend never judges! *boys arent worth the tears! *we all love suprises

I am in LOVE with the most perfect man ever. He is absolutly amazing. No matter what happens with our relationship I will always love him. I honestly have never felt this way for anyone. When we argue/fight, we can never stay mad at each other. He also tries his hardest NOT to yell at me, but has a couple of times. I will admit I deserved it. People say girls never deserve being yelled at or hit, but I believe if you've messed up the ways I have then you deserve to be yelled at. Also, no matter how jealous I get, he may get upset with me, but not mad at me. The way he makes me laugh and smile at times that I am down is just great. No one has ever done that. The cute pictures/comments/messages he sends me just make me light up too. The one person who means the most to me in the world is my daughter and I've noticed that she means the world to him too. The way he gets upset if he does NOT get to say goodnight to my daughter and tell her that he loves her, brings a tear to my eye. Just seeing the way she reacts when he calls and she hears his voice, brings a smile to my face. Knowing that she approves at only 10months old amazes me.

I really don't care who reads this.. I thinks its a bit shitty if people are going to say I don't take care of my daughter and that I don't bond with her.. Because that is BULLSHIT!! I am with her 24/7 and we do nothing but goof around. I see her little eyes light up and her smile at the dumb things I do. I am at least around her watching her grow unlike her father he hasn't even called. I'm at least doing what I should be doing. Just because I am on the phone at bed time does NOT mean I do NOT bond with my daughter at night. We cuddle up in my bed and play until she is tired, we'll watch a movie, or we'll even read a book. With my boyfriend Josh on the other end of the phone its like "family" time. He is great with her. Even though he is unable to be with us physically he finds ways to bond with her over the phone. Thats what I love about him. Through rough nights of her being sick and getting teeth, he is actually on the phone helping me care for her.. If you have a fucking problem with the way I raise my daughter, then screw you. Because I personally think she is a perfect child! She is more advanced than most kids that we know and is happy ALL the time!! I would NEVER ask for a better daughter!

The confusion I get from guys is worse than girl drama. I've been with Josh for about 2.5 months. We talk every night from 10pm-5am. Then he'll call me back at 7am and we'll talk until 8am. Then he gets home from work and calls me and we'll talk for maybe a half hour. Now what confuses me is why can't guys tell their girlfriends whats wrong with them. Josh had put an away message up about being confused, so I asked him what was wrong. He didn't want to talk about it, said he'd tell me later. Well when later came I noticed comments from the #1 girl I hate. You all know its hard for me to HATE someone, but I really HATE this girl. She has tried her hardest the last 2 months to come between us. Well once I saw comments from her I went snooping. I saw he wrote her a comment "I should have listened to you about sam. She makes me feel like shit all the time" Now to knowledge we were the happiest couple around. We talk ALL the time, my daughter adores him, we laugh, we just always seemed to have a good time. That comment he made was pretty much a slap in my face. I wasn't sure what to do after I read it, but I decided to talk with him about it. He told me it feels like I don't want to be with him and that I have to much other stuff to worry about. Well lets recap. I am a fulltime college student, I work parttime, I am a fulltime MOM, and a lil social life. But with all that I never made him anyless than second best. Because of course my daughter is going to my number 1 priority, but then it was always him right after. I've been in school for 3 weeks now and I don't think I have one assignment done. GO ME! The more we talked last night the more I realized I really do love this person. This was one of many falling outs we had dealing with this girl, but this was the biggest. I just feel, well I don't know what I really feel right now. I know I love him to death. He's been nothing but wonderful to me and my daughter. I feel he is the "one". I am not sure how to tell him I don't want to lose him and that I really do love him. I am always the one to give other people advice, so will someone PLEASE give me advice

I believe tonight has been one of the roughest nights I've had in a while. I can't stop thinking about the mistakes I made. Honestly I'm not sure what to think anymore.. As I looked back on the comments and everything from the last 2.5 months, I relize I do have a great guy. I just don't want to lose him. Lately it feels like we have been growing apart. Felt it was my fault, but he says it is not. No matter what he says though I'm still going to feel it is me. Just hope he knows how much he means to me. Also how much I love him.. He really is my world and I don't know what I'd do without him. :(