Velvet Rain's blog: "me and my thoughts"

My Addiction You seemed to have everything. The way you walk, the way you talk Drives me nuts I have something to say You have become my addiction You're the reason I smile The reason I breathe life into this body I have an addiction It's in the way you say my name It's in the way you look at me In the way you lust to have me again My addiction is you, the way you smell How you hold me through the night Your lips upon mine My addiction is the way we make love How you tread kisses everywhere The way you make sure the passion Is an even match I have to admit my favorite Addiction is you and everything you do. Copyright ©2008

My Special Friend Of all thing a friend is. You would never think one could turn. With a fork tong she mocks me. I just simply had let her change be. She has become in cased with a jealous rage. She no longer sees the true me that she has allowed know and loved. For tonight my best friend took my life in rage. My blood know lay upon her hands for the world to see. As she cry's I still try to comfort her from the world I know abide in. For she has done me justice. She may shed tears for all to see but the one she don't she cry for me. For know I will live eternally. To see and greet my family through life and death. I am not mad at for she went insane. Copyright ©2008

Searching I open my mouth I try to form words But they do not come out How can I say I love you When I am not sure that I even Love me for who and what I am I seek answers only to find Non upon your face Do you truly love me With all of my faults I scream in my head to know Yet I am stuck wondering If all I wanted is a lie A blind truth to reality That I try so desperately to hide behind I want you to know who I am Will you be scared to find out Or will you hold me close Whisper in my ear that you love me For the rest of eternity Copyright ©2008

My dreams My dreams are no longer my own They are shattered and broken They are among the lost and the forgotten My dreams are no longer my own They are hung for the world to see That in side i am just empty and broken I'm just one of the many forgotten My dreams are no longer my own For when i woke they were being Played upon a movie screen They laughed they cried Yet still no body new the hurt i felt My dreams are no longer my own I am told what to think How to speak act and treat others I walk among you like a drone Then again would even be able to tell Copyright ©2008

I want to sleep to dull the pain Cut it out with a sharp knife Burn out the thought of pain Pain that was put there by you You took away something I can never get back I thought you were a friend Only to find you were my enemy Innocent's is now never more A time you took with out another look You toyed with me as if I was game You made hate and never forgive You made believe love was a game I went through hell well you laughed with friends I had to put up with the looks I was the one who lost more then you I'm no longer scared If I must I will scream your name From the roof tops for all to hear The lies and deceit you set upon me That unfaithful night Copyright ©2008

The truth behind my eyes I wear my heart on my sleeve for the world to see and tear apart in ecstasy It brings them so much joy to watch me fall with tears of pain upon my eyes I see the look in theirs as they tear away at my very soul inside They never stop to think that its killing with each piece they take every passing day That I lie awake at night wishing that I could just leave this world for the next To see the shame, distrust and anger wash away from their faces I have so much to say to them but my voice is lost in their sea of laughter No were to run i turn to me I ease the pain with the dull knife upon my skin till I see the crimson red

Okay so I have been thinking lately ( I know a bad thing right) I have found out that I really don't want to work. I rather stay at home clean house and look after kids. I mean I'm only 22 and i am ready to have kids, be the stay at home mom good wife type deal. Here is the kicker tho I am seeing some one and its really not working out right now he lives to fare away and when i do talk to him, the chances i do get, he don't even say the 3 little words that make my heart tie up in knots and i get butterfly's in my stomach. It seems we are getting further and further apart as the days go on. Mind u this is the first guy i have not ran from that has told me he wants to marry me, have kids with me and grow so old together we piss off people at the old folks home (i know kinda dumb but it meant a lot to me)lol. Also he is the first guy that i have stayed almost a full year with.Am i just asking to much or is it time to part ways. I really just don't know anymore. ARG grr my mind i'm so lost in it i just don't have a clue anymore.