bioplague's blog: "Master4slave"

UNANSWERED QUESTIONS 1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Spell Evian backwards: NAIVE 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly) 3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it? 4. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. 5. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? 10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one? 11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam. 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks? 17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? 22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? 23. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?

Australian slang a sparrows fart - at dawn (got to get up at a sparrows fart) ac/dc - bisexual arse over tit - fall heavily.. he fell arse over tit! arvo - afternoon ay? - dont u agree? awning over the toy shop - beer belly on a male person being on the knocker - being exactly right barbed wire- xxxx beer beaut! - ecxellent! berko - angry in an unreasonable way.. he went berko at me!! bit of alright - attractive person bizzo -business...none of your bizzo!!! black stump - long way away bloody oath! - yes!!!! blotto - very drunk blow me down! - expression of amazement boofhead - stupid person brown trouser job - frightening or scary came out like a shower of shit! - very fast! cark it - to die carpet grubs - children chuck a spaz - get angry clobber - clothes coffin nail - cigarette crikey! - unbeleivable! cooeeee! - gretting to someone at a distance crash hot - good..not feeling too crash hot today mate crack onto - make a pass at..watch me crack on to her!! crook - sick dinkum - fair dipstick - loser dogs breakfas t- messy..he looked like a dogs breakfast after that party last night drink with the flies - drink alone drown some worms - go fishing dry as a dead dingoes donger - very dry durry - cigarette dutch oven - farting under the bed covers face fungus - beard fair go mate - give me a chance flog - sell something franger - condom gingernuts - redhead technicolour yawn - vomit hudg the porcelin bowl - being sick in toilet give birth to a politician - go to the toilet googie - egg graveyard chompers - false teeth go to buggery - get lost gouse - terrific gutful of piss - very drunk have a bo-peep - have a look heart starter - early morn alcoholic drink hit the hay - time for bed hooroo - goodbye! howzat! - an appeal for approval idiot box- t.v in a tic - very shortly in good nick - in good condition in the raw - naked jack shit - nothing jack-in -the-box - someone who cant sit still jow blow - anybody....any joe blow will do! keen as mustard - very enthusiastic kaput - broken..this thing is kaput! keg on legs - big drinker knickers in a knot - upset..dont get your knickers in a knot!! knackered - tired knuckle sandwich - punch in the mouth leg opener - alcohol lemon - faulty..this car is a lemon..wont go like a chook with its head cut off - flustered..she is running around like a chook with its head cut off cos she cant find something like a fart in a bottle - extremely aggitated like a stunned mullet - bewildered like a 2 bob watch - unreliable flat out like a lizard drinking - very busy make a blue - make a mistake make it snappy - hurry up! misery guts - unhappy person missus - wife moo juice - milk moolah - money never never - outback nick off- go away not the full quid - stupid nuddy - naked on ya mate - good for you!! off like a brides nightie - leave quickly Oz - australia pack a wallop - powerful..he can pack a wallop when provoked! packing death - very scared pansy - effeminate male pash rash - rash on face from kissing a guy with a beard piss it in - win easily..ill piss it in on this bet! piss on - to defeat..they pissed on us!! take the piss - a joke on someone piss up - party involving alcohol possie - position..u get the drinks ill get a good possie! push up zeds - have a sleep put the shits up - alarming someone..i put the shits up john cos he was annoying me quack - doctor rack off - go away! rake - a comb rigdie didge! - true!! rat shit - not good..i feel rat shit today ripper - relly good..u little ripper!!! sanga - sandwich scarce as rockinghorse shit - very scarce shaggin waggon - panel van shit for brains - no brains snot someone - bash someone spewing - very upset..im spewing he didnt call me spray the bowl - diahhorea stuffed - very tired technicolour yawn - vomit the sticks - middle of nowhere thingummy jig - could be anything.pass me that thingammyajig too right! - you better beleive me! troppo - crazy..he went troppo!! veg out - relax verbal diahhorea - talking nonsense waffle on - talk rubbish walkabout - something u cant find..mmy keys gone walkabout!! wanker! - stupid male wharfie - dock worker wouldnt be dead for quids - happy to be alive wombat - someone who eats, roots and leaves yakka - work yobbo - unsophisticated person you beaut!! - excellent! youse - you in plural zits - acne

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES 1) That's not right......Sum Ting Wong 2) Are You Harbouring A Fugitive... Hu Yu Hai Ding 3) See Me ASAP....Kum Hia 4) Stupid Man.... Dum Gai 5) Small Horse....Tai Ni Po Ni 6) Did You Go To The Beach... Wau Yu So Tan 7) I Bumped The Coffe Table...Ai Bang Mai Ni 8) I Think You Need A Face Lift....Chin Tu Fat 9) Its Very Dark In Here...Wai So Dim 10) I Thought You Were On A Diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching 11) This Is A Tow away Zone..No Pah King 12) Our Meeting Is Scheduled For Next Week..Wai Yu Kum Nao 13) Staying Out Of Sight... Lei Ying Lo 14) He's Cleaning His Automobile...Wa Shing Ka 15) Your Body Odor Is Offensive....Yu Stin Ki Pu 16) Great.... Fa Kin Su Pah

IMPORTANT WARNING.. A stock clerk was sent to clean up a storeroom in Maui , Hawaii . When he got back, he was complaining that the storeroom was really filthy and that he had noticed dried mouse/rat droppings in some areas.! A couple of days later, he started to feel like he was coming down with a stomach flu, complained of sore joints and headaches, and began to vomit. He went to bed and never really got up again. Within two days he was severely ill and weak. His blood sugar count was down to 66, and his face and eyeballs were yellow. He was rushed to the emergency at Pali-Momi, where he was diagnosed to be suffering from massive organ failure. He died shortly before midnight. No one would have made the connection between his job and his death, had it not been for a doctor who specifically asked if he had been in a warehouse or exposed to dried rat/mouse droppings at anytime. They said there is a virus (much like the Hanta virus) that lives in dried rat and mouse droppings. O nce dried, these droppings are like dust and can easily be breathed in or ingested if a person does not wear protective gear or fails to wash face and hands thoroughly . An autopsy was performed on the clerk to verify the doctor's suspicions... This is why it is extremely important to ALWAYS carefully rinse off the tops of canned sodas or foods, and to wipe off pasta packaging, cereal boxes, and so on. Almost everything you buy in a supermarket was stored in a warehouse at one time or another, and stores themselves often have rodents. Most of us remember to wash vegetables and fruits but never think of boxes and cans. The ugly truth is, even the most modern, upper-class, super store has rats and mice. And their warehouse most assuredly does! Whenever you buy any canned soft drink, please make sure that you wash the top with running water and soap or, if that is not available, drink with a straw. The investigation of soda cans by the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta discovered that the tops of soda cans can be encrusted with dried rat's urine, which is so toxic it can be lethal. Canned drinks and other foodstuffs are stored in warehouses and containers that are usually infested with rodents, and then they get transported to retail outlets without being properly cleaned.

Ok heres the deal I have entered any contest on here This one is just a comment bomb. Come by and comment bomb my pic. Thanks.

Momma tasha won me at the auction for one month, Nows the time to add/fan/rate the lovely momma tasha if you dont have her on your friends list I want to pimp her out and show her how much she means to me take the time to get to know momma tasha she is really sweet she a really good friend, will help you when you need it Thanks to everyone who bid on me, I really appreciate it! GO SHOW MOMMA TASHA LOTS OF FUBAR LOVE

I decided to get in an auction where you have the chance to own me for a month so if you would like to bid on me here is the link For the Winner I Will: Put owned by in my name Rate All Pics and Stash Put a link to you on my page Add You To My Yahoo Add You To My Family Add You to My Msn Daily Gift Daily comment Thanks so much for looking at this and those who bid on me.

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and..... 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away? 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- - Jingle Bells,! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Be careful what you wish for........you just might get it!!!! A bloke walks into a bar, closely followed by an ostrich and a cat. He turns to the ostrich and says... "What'll you have?" "A lager please!" says the Ostrich. "And I'll have a double whiskey, but I'm not paying for it!!" adds the cat. So the guy orders, a pint of bitter, a pint of lager, and a double scotch, and pays for it. The following night, its the same all over again...."What'll you have?" "A lager please!" says the Ostrich. "And I'll have a double whiskey, but I'm not paying for it!!" adds the cat. So the guy orders, a pint of bitter, a pint of lager, and a double scotch, and pays for it. The barman and the regulars are a little intrigued by all this, and after the guy and his pets have left, they interrogate the barman, who is unable to shed any light. He decides to challenge the guy next time. The following evening, again the same scenario..."What'll you have?" "A lager please!" says the Ostrich. "And I'll have a double whiskey, but I'm not paying for it!!" adds the cat. So the guy orders, a pint of bitter, a pint of lager, and a double scotch, and pays for it. The barman asks him...."How do you manage to come by a talking ostrich AND a talking cat??" "Oh!", responds the guy, "Its quite simple! I was walking along the canal, and there was this magic lantern, bobbing along in the scum, and slowly filling with water, and sinking. I pulled it out, gave it a rub, and out popped a magic genie!!! He granted me one wish, and I asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy!!"