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BamBina's blog: "Love"

created on 12/05/2006  |  http://fubar.com/love/b31463

Is It All For Nothing

I live in , i swear the smallest town in the world.. people know what color your underwear are in the mornings,,, seriously,,, i have put so much effort into loving someone and it was all for nothing.. im seriously depressed ... i married him ruined my life,, had a beautiful daughter(not his) and shes all i live for.. i feel hopeless i will never find a great man where i am at.. I do the same things everday.. i wake up i get dressed, i dress my daughte,r i drop her at day care, then i got to work. Then after work i pick her up, go home make dinner and she goes to bed same thing everyday, with the ocassional outtin on one night during the weekend my hearts been so broken that i am not sure i can trust nor do i have faith that i will find a man who contains all i am lookin for. i feel like were not in a generation where theres any great men left... cant they love u for who u are and not try to change u, cant they be honestly sincer or faithful or loving.. can they honestly marry u and love u for ever support u when u need them to, hold u when u need holding,.???? do women resort to women cause they know what they want and need??? not sayin i will but really>>? I dont know how to get my pain to go away and i am loosin faith... i feel like when i do meet someone i wont even know how to hold a conversation or get the ball rolling sounds funny but its not! everyone always says it will be fine u will find someone, I did find my someone the one i gave my all to i already did that so what now ........i am to scared to move away my whole familys here and i cant leave alone yes i know i will have my daughter but thats kinda alone ,,, and the funds to actually move? i feel like the world makes it impossible to get anywhere... i dont know but i need to pick my self up, how ? i lost my world .....
i feel in love along time ago.. to the man i married he has been there for me threw thick and thin and i thank god every day that hes a part of my life,,, i have a wonderful life a wonderful daughter and all is very well.. just thought this would be a good thought got my first blog!!!!!
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