well I think I have finally figured out that the person that I want indeed doesn't want me in the same way!!!! it may take me a little longer than some but thats cause I always look past the bad and believe in the best possible outcome.....
But with that I am movin on now, buisness it is, but I can't allow myself to ever go there again, I can't let him in again, because HE WILL hurt me again, maybe not meaning to but indeed would.....
I am feeling like maybe i will just keep my energy open to all the universe has to offer me and go from there! no more just allowing myself to be used to feel loved! I mean shouldn't I be loved before I allow others to touch me!! I think so but never allowed myself to resist when I truly wanted a person physically then I get all upset and hurt when I fall for them and they don't for me.....What should I expect I mean damn mel.
If they like you then they open a door, or take you to a nice restaurant, or rube my feet, or take me to a movie, or do something I have never done... to want to be with me just because I AM ME.. not because I am pretty, or great in bed or because I am high energy, just because I am mel the girl that likes anything and everything if she is with someone she cares for be it friend or lover.......A fella I met while on a buisness trip taught me a good lesson, he had never even held my hand much less kissed or fucked me however, he treated me with respect and like a princess.....non of this well what are you gunna give me if I do that for you shit....... He helped me realize that I am worth more than cherry buck gifts or a piece of ass....... way more........
I am going to start loving myself with as much energy as I have put into loving him...... and In the end I will prevail, grow as a person, and have great success in my life.........so blessed be to all of you and remember YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH never let anyone tell you or make you feel any different............
kisses all mel
any comments will be received with gratitude I always love to hear what other peoples thoughts are on my own thoughts........