You know you live in Arizona when....
1. You are willing to park three blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
5. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
You live in California when:
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far some thing is, you tell them how long it will take to get here rather than how many miles away it is.
You live in New York City when....
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan,
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You think Central Park is "nature".
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You Live in Maine when....
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel, with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live in the Deep South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, ''You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
You live in Colorado when....
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500.00 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You live in the Midwest when....
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have to switch from the "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different."
You live in Florida when....
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by a headless person.
