wprince89's blog: "Life"

Life is completely fucked some days, but I can live with that, after all I have met a beautiful woman who keeps me guessing, happy, and well you know all the time. I love her with all my heart and this page will have to change to reflect that because people are silly, and I want to make sure everyone knows that I love my addiction and have finally realized life is fucked cause just when you give up it gives you hope and love

You know one of these days chatting is gonna get me into trouble, but that is fine, I am tired of being nice, so from now on I will be as bad as possible. I mean why the hell not, after all what is the point of always getting run over and knowing that all you have to do is say fuck it. So that is what i'm doing today, so if you want me to behave shut up or give me a really good reason.

I recently quit smoking, and i can tell you this from the headaches to the nawing thoughts of going and finding smokes, I can tell you this much I wish I didn't want to quit, but i am quitting so i don't want to go back, i live with another smoker, and that doesn't help at the end of the day when he gets here, and smokes like a freight train, I hope i don't gain weight, but right now just to get the headaches to go away I would not care if i gained a hundred pounds. The next thing I wanna say is that there should not be thoughts of wanting a cigarette, i should be happy that i quit, but i can't help it. Right now I just wish someone would shoot me and get it over with.

I call upon no one, not a living breathing soul, I cannot burden them with the nightmares that haunt my mind, I live in this world, traveling through the motions, I constantly want to pick up the phone and call for help, just to hear a friendly voice, just to hear someone tell me that they love me, but it is never that way, no those whom I call wish to always tell me of their problems, always ask me to help them, but when i am alone and scared in this world, whom do I call, I call the. I call the when my world is falling into darkness, and I feel his icy touch upon my cheek, I call the when I feel like screaming because i see nothing but the abyss of eternal loneliness, and though I know that you do not hear me, nor would you care if you did i still call the, I am alone I see that now more than ever, but I do not let it hinder me, no i let it push me and drive me cause i know no matter how alone or afraid I get I can always call the, and one day I will know you, one day I will find you until the I will just continue to call the, but alas I must say this in the last lines of my thoughts, I know that most will never understand that though i am lonely and constantly fighting my own demons, I am not afraid, because mere memories are nothing compared to the things that we have seen, and though I know we cannot speak of it, I am greatful to you for showing me it, so that is why I call the.

Where do i hide, when times get rough, where do I run when things fall apart. I wish I could say I ran to your arms, and hid in your loving embrace, but since I do not know who you are or where you are, I just run, I do not find safe havens in a storm, I do not hide at all, no I continue to run, always searching for you always wanting to stop my desperate run, I thought I found you once in Seattle, but the rain washed you away, I found you for a fleating moment in Cleveland, but a butterfly took you away. I found you again in Chicago, but you where to light and the wind swept you away. So now I keep running and looking, but my eyes see nothing, except for you. I know I may one day fall of exhaustion, but I will not stop, I will crawl then till I find you, but if I do one day stop running, and stop looking, it will be because my heart no longer pumps blood to my legs, and my lungs no longer take in breath, until I find you, only Death will stop my quest.

Hello again, I know i only write like every day on here, but it helps me, today I have been thinking alot about what I say on here, and I want everyone to know that i do not just type stuff on here in a depressive manner because i mean to, no actually it is more along the lines of I just have been depressed, but i realized today that i am over it, so now it is back to buisness as usual, I am writting this to say that if not for love, honor, and friendship, non of us would truely be here. I would also like to say to my friends I am sorry for being a pain in the ass, I know I have not been myself and must appologize to all of you who I have made think there is something wrong since I have not been joking around like I normally do. Well I am here and I can say this much I am over whatever caused it, and I am back, and I am here to do some heavy nut tossing. So let us all take a deep breath, and welcome in the new month with joy, cause for me i know that tomorrow holds my future, and today is already the past.

Why do we work? I have thought about this long and hard since my job started messing up my pay checks, i am now three weeks without a check, and it is finally hit me the answer of all answers, most of us who have our dream job work because we enjoy what we are doing, but those of us who have not yet found it work, to make a living in other words we need money. Well I have thought long and hard and have realized that if money is so damn important why should we continue to only allow the rich to control it, why are we listening to a government who makes us pay for them, when they should pay us for the priviledge of working for us, since that is what they do, but no instead we are forced to pay for wars, former presidents salaries, and convicts to live all live better than comen man, and i am sick of it. I do love this country, but I believe it is time we as citizens spoke out against the wrongs that are committed in our names.

I do not just write blogs, i would like people to comment on them not just read them, if that is a problem, then i will just stop writting them, not that most would mind.

This is a strange topic but it is close to my heart, I am a novice Master, and I greatly want to learn from a real Master, but until then I will just continue reading on the subject, and for those of you who think that Masters and Slaves are sick understand it is a deeper emotional and physical relationship that just meer dating and thats what I want something more than just love, that and I want the control. I mean to know you are giving someone what they truly crave, and knowing they are doing like wise to you just thrills me, even though it may confuse some of you I am not here to question your lives, and don't want you questioning mine.