Michael Giggles's blog: "Life"

"Love, what is love. Well what love is to me, it's knowing that everyday you get to spend every minute with the person who makes everything okay; who makes life fun to live with; who backs you up even when everyone says you are wrong and you feel like you are going to cry and you turn around and there she is just holding her arms wide open and you feel so safe in them and you know she is the one person who will never laugh at you but with you; who never gets mad at you but gets mad at the same stuff you do; who you can tell everything to and know that she will smile and know exactly what you are talking about, not just saying I know, but have lived through the same things. Love is so much more than my words can describe in this world, it's somthing that no matter where you are you know that the other person is waiting for you to come home to. I love you Christie Lynn Garza. It just came to me while I wrote it. You are my inspiration to my writing. I haven't written anything like this in so long - you are my muse." 4/11/07 - 3:12am by Michael Ira Johnson

It's been decided between Michael and I, that we are going to get married (by court) the last week of this month! I'm so fucking excited! Mom is actually being supportive about it since she's realized that I won't be leaving her for a while. Omg, lol. I'm so happy. Well, just dropped in to splash that up here.

*You complain that your boyfriend/husband has worked late all week and have barely seen him---I look forward to the two weeks a year we spend together. *You complain b/c he doesn't call you enough---My heart is thankful for the 15- second phone call I got last Tuesday in the middle of the night! *You whine to you friends about how much you miss him already because he is on a two day trip with his parents---I haven't seen him for 7 months now. *You don't fee like making love tonight because you are too tired---We will stay up all night because we don't know when it will be the last time. *Your boyfriend/husband belongs to you---Mine belongs to the government. *Your boyfriend/husband is training for his game next weekend---My boyfriend is trained to kill. *It's just not practical for you to drive an hour to see him every weekend during school---He spends $700 dollars on a plane ticket just to see me 2 days. *You hate hanging up the phone when talking to him---My heart breaks because I won't talk to him for another 10 days. *You complain that he doesn't take enough time out of his life for you---My man has to get up in the middle of the night to talk with me because of the time difference. He doesn't complain. *Your man is in a bad mood from not sleeping much this week---My man ran 10 miles this morning at 4 in the morning and has a full day of work ahead of him. *Your boyfriend/husband can call in sick when he is tired or not feeling well---My man works no matter what. *You don't trust him so you follow him places to see if he is telling the truth---I have no choice but to trust him and even then I trust him with my life. *You don't like him talking so sexually with his friends---My boyfriend/husband has to chant it in drills. *You check your phone, see you missed a call from him, and decide to call him back when you aren't so busy---I see a missed a call and cry because I don't know when he can call again. *You might save a cute voice message from him---I save them all b/c it helps me to remember what his voice sounds like. *Being apart for a month to you seems daunting---A month apart for me is a wish that can't come true. *You wouldn't change schools to be close to him---I have to move to another country to be with him. *You have every part of him memorized---I study pictures so I don't forget what he looks like. *You take your time together for granted---We don't. *Your cell phone bill was high this month from talking too much---He pays 20 cents a minute to call me. *You love that fancy necklace he bought you---I refuse to take his dog tags off, and not a day goes by that I dont have them on. *You say you miss him---Times that by 20. You can't understand how much it hurts, but you also can't understand how incredible it feels to finally be with them. And for all those girls out there thinking, "Well it was his choice to join." Your right, it was. And it's guys like him that keep us free and safe while they were at war. It might have been his choice to give up staying at home with the ones he loves, but it's that choice that makes him our hero... America's hero! For all of you who wake up in the morning, lay there for a few moments, trying to swallow the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as you wonder where your soldier is, or how he's doing...this is for you. For all of you who start a countdown the minute he leaves, and continue to until he is back in your arms again...this is for you. For all of you who tear up everytime "Far Away" comes on the radio, or who press repeat when "Come Home Soon" plays in their car...this one's for you. For all of you who see Army billboards, ads in the paper, or commercials on TV and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks, this is for you. This is for you. I am one of you too. This is for us. For all the times we sleep with our phones on the loudest possible volume, just as to not miss the call that just MIGHT come... For all the times we roll our eyes when another girl is depressed because she hasn't seen her guy in a week... For all the times we hear our soldier's name mentioned out loud, and are momentarily frozen...in a trance...in love. For all the late nights that we spend alone, cuddling with our stuffed animals, wearing our soldiers army sweatshirts and sweatpants, and clutching the precious dog tags around our necks... This one's for us. We may feel weak on the inside, but on the outside we're strong. We may be drowning in tears on the inside, but on the outside, we are a rock. We may want to crawl in bed and sleep until our man comes home, but instead, we get up and go on with our daily lives with our men in our hearts. We may feel like we're slowly dying with each day we spend apart from our men, but instead, we put one foot infront of the other, and take each day as it comes. We are strong, and we are proud. We have more love in our hearts than we ever thought possible, and for this, we are thankful. We are thankful for our men and also for each other. We are Army gals, and we lean on each other. Alone we are weak, but together, we are strong. We help each other, and we survive. To all you Army gals out there, hold your head up and be proud. We are connected, ALWAYS. It says army gals, but its really for all military branches.

Actually I'm pretty pissed now. Lol I wrote the freaking blog and myspace gave me a freaking error and erased it. Okay...to remember what I wrote. Yesterday Michael was being so absolutely cute. I had a huge smile on my face most of the day. I am so lucky to have met this man. I am so incredibly in love with him. It hurts not being able to spend every second with him since time is running so short now. I hate whenever he has to drop me off at home again. It kills me to see him drive off. I cry everytime he does. Things have changed a bit these past couple of weeks. I've learned to open myself up to him completely. Every little thing that is on my mind, I tell him. It feels good to have someone know the things that are bothering you. Even if it's just an itch from a mosquito, lol. I know things will be harder when he leaves and I know that I will prolly break down a few times along the way. But it helps so much knowing that all I have to do is tell him when I am and I know he will be right there for me. I'm going to spend the weekend with him. I'm glad I am. Mom knows I need it. I'm holding so much afloat right now and it's beginning to tear at me. God knows I need some quiet time with Michael. I will prolly ignore my calls for the weekend, so just letting ya'll know that. I'm gonna spend as much time with him as I can, lol, without getting too annoying. Well here is a little something for you Michael. I love you baby, can't wait to see you friday. You are the light of my life when all others are out. You are the beat of my heart when mine can't take it. You are my moonlight and stars in the dark of the night. You are the night breeze that puts me to sleep. You are the sun in the morning that greets me with a smile. Most of all you are my twin for you complete me in every way. I love you so much Michael. Always & Forever

Ah.....This month has been great. I was able to spend almost two weeks with Michael, with a week at home in between. It was fucking wonderful to be able to go to sleep and wake up with him at my side. I got so used to sleeping by him that now back at home I can't sleep. Lol, he has to scold me to sleep. Yup yup. I miss him so much. I miss seeing his smile, the way he makes me feel better without even trying. I hate being away from him so much. I know it's going to get worse... It's just so hard. I want him NOW and I can't have him right now. Hehe, in that way too. We just had a blast together. We went to visit his sister, his niece, and his best friend and they are awesome people. Lol, his sister loves me. :D Yay me! He can't get rid of me now! Lmao. I would chain him down anyway. I want to see him again... Time can't go by fast enough or slow down enough when I'm with him.

Is still not enough time. The time spent was great though. I got to spend Wednesday through Sunday with Michael. Just us, being together. It was wonderful. It was great to be able to fall asleep next to him and wake up there. Tonight is going to be hard falling asleep by myself now. I won't be able to see him until prolly this coming Sunday. All I know is that I take what I can get. I won't complain about not being able to see him, because I know it will only get harder. I know that in the end all of this will be worth it. He keeps me strong, he keeps me looking forward. I love him so much and this time with him was wonderful.

no one is answering their phone I'm gonna write. Well, today was a good day. It was pretty great actually. A friend of ours had her baby today. Today also happened to be the 1yr 9mth anniversary of Chang's death. Lmao. He laughed at Mal and I soo much today. So... we were coming back from the island and Mal noticed a bunch of CDs that she hadn't noticed before. I went through them and found one from Chang to her. A bunch of different songs. Lol, during one of them she was telling me a story about Yoshi, him and her and the CD kept stopping and starting up again. Lol, we knew he was there getting mad that she was telling me something I wasn't supposed to know but it was funny. She called Rollie and asked him where the CD came from and lo and behold, he has been holding onto a box for about 6 months that had Mallory's name on it from Chang. Lol well Rollie is in trouble, hahahaha. He is so lucky we weren't near him. It was just hilarious, after the whole crying episode. Yea but now Mal and I HAVE to become professionals. Hehehe, oh well. So that was part of our day.

Blue October - Ugly Side I must have sneezed On knees I freeze I mean I just choked up But somehow I slept I dream, I mean I dreamt of nothing I'm able to breathe The sweet relief Now that you're here for me A northern degree Dove into me Now I'm recovering (Chorus) Now I only want you to see My favorite part of me And not my ugly side And not my ugly side (Ugly side) Hook up a C.B. Wave a way For conversation flow I'm shoved in your cage, to wage this rage Don't let me go A kick and a scream is all that seems To mean a lot thus far I won't let you on my stage, my page You can't know Yet you have to know (Chorus x2) So calm... (and its so calm)... And now it's dark I look for you to light my heart I'm between the moon and where you are I know... I can't be far

I don't know... writing things down is sometimes easier for me. Reading Jaz's letter to Michael opened holes again. It made me think how neither of us got to say goodbye to each other or anything. We never got to see each other, we didn't get to spend time together. I still can't help but think of all the shouldve couldve things. Idk, everything just flooded back again. I hate when it happens and I don't want it to happen anymore. Especially becuz I'm so happy with Michael now. I know we are the same in a lot of ways and this perhaps the most binding. Oh well...they called him in for work tonight. I'll make him nap when he comes home tomorrow. *I miss you Chang.* Love you guys. I love you Michael.

Lol, yesterday Mal and I surprised the unsurpriseable Michael. Hehe, We planned that she would come pick me up after she went to a doctor's appointment. So I waited at school until she drove over and we took off to McAllen. On our way there, we passed by Med High and saw that there was no one there. We were like WTF? Lol, then we remembered that they had told us there would be no school that day. Hehe, we laughed about that for a while. Stupid me, the first thing that popped into my head was "Mass field trip?" LMAO. Whatever. So we got there and were trying to figure out a way to actually get into the apartments, so we pulled this.... Mallory called and called him until he woke up and tried to sound hysterical that her car wouldn't turn on. Lol, he got up and came over and I hid behind one of the polls by the subway. When he popped open the hood, I ran up behind him. Lol, he had the cutest smile on his face. Hehe, he was tired and everything, but oh well. he treated us to lunch cuz we hadn't eaten yet then we went back to his place. We hung out with Mallory for a while before we went to his room. Then Robins and his wife and kids came back and made enough noise to raise the dead, but Robins never woke up. After that we sat and talked with her a while before going back to his room. Lol, while we were sitting in the living room being social, the two girls both kept rejecting Michael for me. Lol, I was surprised actually, for a while kids never liked to go near me. But now they do again, so I'm glad about that. Mal left a little after we went back to the room and we left around 7 so he could drop me off back. Lol, oh yea... On our way back there was this truck pulling a trailer, speeding like shit on the freeway, and sure enough the damn thing flew off and almost hit us. Yup...that was Mallory's birthday present to Michael. Lol, mine doesn't need to be said. He was tired, but he said it was worth it. I had just wanted to do something special for him since I wouldn't be able to spend the day with him today. Poor baby had a long night at work too. Well, I suppose that is enough about his day for ya'll. Hehe, love you guys. Love you Michael...Happy Birthday!