LoKa RoSa's blog: "Life Rants"

Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things you'll even have to do. The more alone time you spend, the more thinking you get to do, the more realization of truth you encounter. I think that once you balance out the reasons why you want to hold on and the reasons you have to let go, you will come to an understanding as to what you're really dealing with and see the true colors of the cards you are holding. Life brings people into your life for a reason and when its time for them to leave its because the lesson has been left and its up to you to see it, feel it, and live on what you've learned. I've recently decided to let someone go from my life. Although, its with a heavy heart that I make this decision, I decided it was for my own good and for the best for the both of us. We just dont see eye to eye, we dont think close to the same, we dont believe in the same rules, and we're in different levels overall. Sometimes being on different levels alone causes a tiny bit of resentment, feelings of inferiority, and that's not what things should be about, but, as unfortunate as it is, in my eyes, it has come to that. Not by my doing, but by how the other person feels, and I'm sorry they feel that way. Sometimes its hard to overlook past the obvious. My life has always been good, rewarding and plentiful but a struggle nontheless. I am where I am in life; myself and my family, cause I am strong and overcame a lot of things and I cant let anything hold me back or on stand-still. I can't stop moving forward because someone is stuck in the past. In all my realization, here is what I've discovered. You can't go back to the past, the past is written in your history for a reason, you walked away for a reason. Thinking you can revisit to apply the theory of "If I knew then what I know now, it'd be different". Well, it doesn't always hold true, if someone is stuck somewhere in the path of life and doesn't necessarily have what you need to pick up the pieces of yesterday and move on to tomorrow, then you must keep walking and keep searching for whatever it is you're missing.

I recently got out of a relationship with the true love of my life. Its unfortunate for me since I truly love this man and he claims to love me with all his heart as well, its just things couldn't be worked out on my behalf. However, I know that this adventure has brought with it triumphs and left behind some good memories and lessons as well as a broken heart. I know now that I must learn to love the one I claim to love unconditionally. All the little things that aren't relevant I should not let get the best of me. I know now, where my mistakes lie, a little too late though. But it'll help me for the future. I just wish there was a fast forward button to get me through this, even though I know I am strong enough to over come this and anything that comes my way, its just getting through this phase that I dont want to deal with. But, what's life without pain? Isn't that how we learn to be stronger and wiser for anything that comes our way? I believe so. I've always been a very strong, determined, and wise woman, why stop now? Why let a man hold my heart and hold me back? I'm ME and this ME will pull through and succeed in life without him. I've done it before, I can do it again. I just need to keep my mind occupied and polish up my goals in life and focus, focus, focus. Until my next heart-felt venting episode....

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "I f I could only see the world, I will marry you." One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.' This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations. Life Is a Gift Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion. Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren. Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets. Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

2006 was a year of recovery, transitioning, and of life-altering decisions. I had a very trying year and now that that year is over and a new year has begun and has run its course 8 months through, so has a new chapter in my life. I closed, yet another, chapter of my life a few months ago when I moved back down the hill. The move to the high desert from civilization in Sept. 2006 was a new chapter for me, a new life, a new lesson, a new world and to move on to bigger better things. Although my move was sudden and not everyone agreed with it, I made it anyways. I dont regret NOT ONE MINUTE or DAY that I spent there in the high desert; I just wished I would've made better choices with what I had to work with. I learned a new lesson to add to my tally of mistakes and lessons learned. Its time for the next chapter in my life to close and a proceed to live the next one. Things happen for a reason, I feel that my stay in the high desert has come to an end and I took from it all that I could and a new beginning is to start towards fixing a mistake that was clearly made apparent to me; of no one's fault but my own. But I'm one to live, learn, and and move on with no regrets. I moved to San Bernardino as a step towards making my life better and move forward with what I've learned. Although sometimes decisions to close a chapter in ones life can be painful or one that we have to be forced to make, we must make it. Its only then we begin to heal and grow and become stronger. Yea this all sounds like tear-jearking bullshit. Oh well. Get over it. Time to make the best of what life has to offer. NEW BEGINNINGS. I'm saying Good-bye to my past and my present and saying hello to my tomorrow and anything that comes my way from here on forward. DAMMMMMMNNN I should write a freakin book or at least fuckin poetry! OK off my soap box and on to start living and learning...

We are all born equal, yet different in our own ways. We all thrive to stand out in the world in one way or another. However some loose themselves when they aren't being who they really are. That is the first step to becoming better than what you are now. "No man could be ideally successful until he has found his place. Like a locomotive, he is strong on the track, but weak anywhere else." - Orsen Marden. Avoid following a crowd. Be an engine, not a caboose. As Herman Melville wrote: "it is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation." Average people would rather be wrong than be different. We relinquish three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. Confority is the jailer of satisfaction and the enemy of growth. Ask yourself, "If I try to be like him, who will be like me? If I'm not me, who will I be?" The more you develop your potential, the less you will become like someone else. Trying to be like somone else is self-defeating. One of your main purposes in life is to give birth to yourself. As long as you're trying to be like someone else, the best you can ever be is number two. We can't reach our destiny taking another person's road. He who never walks except where he sees another person's tracks will make no new discoveries. "Do not follow where the path may lead--go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." "The more you are like yourself, the less you are like anyone else" -Walt Disney You can't be common. The common goes nowhere. You must be uncommon to be a champion. Your responsibility is not to remake yourself, but to make the absolute best of what God made. Don't compromise yourself...its all you've got. "Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities he does not possess." - Samuel Johnson Don't let your life be a continual struggle to be what you are not, and to do what you should not.

Many people fail in life because they believe in the old saying "if you don't succeed, try something else." But success eludes those who follow such advice. The dreams that come true did so because people stuck to their ambitions. They refused to be discouraged. They never let disappointment get the uper hand. Challenges only spurred them on to greater efforts. You will be judged by what you finish, not by what you start. I you dont see results right away, dont worry, you will get paid in the end. All great achievements require time and tenacity. Be persevering because the last key on the ring may be the one that opens the door. Hanging on one second longer than your competition makes you a winner. Become famous for finishing important, difficult tasks. If you are ever tempted to stop, just think of Brahms, who took seven long years to compose his famous lullaby. Woodrow Wilson once said, "I would rather fail in a cuase that will ultimately succeed than succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail." Failures are people who quit too soon. Don't get tired of doing what is right, eventually you will reap the rewards. Many people who fail, did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. You always uncover opportunity by applying persistence to possibilities. When you get right down to the root meaning of the word SUCCEED, you find that it simply means "to persevere and follow through." The road to success runs uphill, so dont expect to break any speed records. Impatience is costly. Your greatest mistakes will happen because of impatience. Most people fail simply because they're impatient and they cannot join the beginning with the end. THE POWER TO HOLD ON IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING, TO ENDURE--THIS IS THE WINNERS QUALITY.