AfRoSaMuRaILeGeNd's blog: "last minitue details"

since xmas is this bad am a voiding it i dont much care for it being that spend it a lone in any case so with out further a do am going to just pass and sleep right throught it

yepo i got throught a lot the acuseing of my father beign a ass and still trying to keep it together and me looking like hammered shit like havent shaved that and me and dad are no longer talking to each other

so whats no with this year a lot but i got stay focused an stay resolved thats all their is to it and if i fall a litle just catch my self i will not be swayed by my fear now

my my xmas is here all most i neds some ideas so who would like to throw me some sugestion am well comed to give some good ones if they want

yep and icant wait to see my gf and i missed here very much its going to be the best b-day present i can get which is her

yep time to pull out the stops and just keep digging this no time to lay down on the job time to amp it up lol

some times i fear that am not eough for my wondderful gf who i love very much but worry about most the time am i wrong to fear somethings or am i just being silly i dt no i am just kind of fear fuill i gues my heart has been broken more then i can be saided about 6 or 7 times think thats more then a normail persons can bear even for me am lucky am not in a str8 jacket still i wonder if am eough some times

something am sorry for somethings take back i can never take back and something i wish i could have been better the what i am but for me what can i say theirs nothing but pain in my soul some times i think my birth was a curse rather then a blessing how can one be blessed known people will all ways judge you for who you are yes am a odd young man but what do you expect when your keeped in the dark about what life is how do you tell your self that you doing the right thing how do you tell you self you havent failed as a son for me maybe i just was biological mistake for everything their is i hurt so much the more pain i take the more my dark twisted being is consumed with anger for what i am i see my self as a monster something that shouldnt even be in this world for me am mstake

yep well met my gf and i loved it just wished she could have stay even thought she isnt back here yet i miss my gf marsha yep ist sucks why is it when something is going well something bad has to follow it well afther the 2 weeks were up she had to go home i was pretty sad then when mom and dad said we were going to sc that maded me even more misabe sc not my favorite place to go or to live and personaly i would hate liveing their for me it would be point less to want to live their i hate the heat and family sucks not like their all that thrill or inresting anyway saw my aunt she look like she was on her way out sooner then i thought any ways other that afther the fight me and my dad got in to and my lovely and wonderful gf hearing it all yea i would say i went to the doctors and she said no more geting angry or geting upset or geting stressed out or i could end up incapastated so yep as you see am trying to be less angry so no more aguring for me thats if want to live

yes i am i worryed that your not you self and that so suck you no i love you a lot and would give my blood just to see you not hurt or up set i would even give my very soul just to no that you were ok but i no you not so when your hurting so am i and right now your up set so am not happy either and it hurts to see you cry and it hurts to see and when your not eating or you hate life then i lost hope in a world that is never nice nice or me i love you and if need be i would take a bullet for you or die for you if need be thats how i feel am so sorry this is all happen to you and will try my best to comfort you when your here