She Will Never Be MeStalked by Swamp Mon...'s blog: "Jenn's Ramblings"

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose at least 5 people to be tagged, listing their names . Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You're it" on their profile and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Have fun! 1.I eat A1 on just about anything 2.I wont potty in any other house but mine 3.I drink hot tea 4.I have a foot phonbea 5.My sheets HAVE to be tucked in at the end of the bed 6.I like the smell of Veggies but I dont like the taste 7.I still suck my thumb when I ma stressed 8.I hate not showering every day 9.I am Bossy.....I know thats hard to believe 10.I like to solve everyones elses problems.... Passing the torch to: Shea Boston BeatDown 2Big4You EMSTECH G Insanity Jenn K

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn funny. He is my hero!! Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it. Men, repost this because you have balls.

WHY MARRY? You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished . A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late." Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

****Types of Pussy**** LAZY PUSSY - This is when there is no movement on the woman's part >except trying to stop full thrust of the dick into the pussy. She says faster, faster but still is not putting any effort into the action at hand. THE WENDY"S WINDOW PUSSY - This is the girl you pick up around 12:30a.m when everyone is sleeping and she knows that you are coming so she is waiting by the door. You don't have to beep the horn or call her from the car cause she knows the deal. She usually is not the best looking girl. You are never seen with this girl in public places and you hate that >she mentions your name to her friends. There is no reason to ask how your day was because it is too late for conversation. It is all agreed upon before she evens gets into the car. Nine out of ten times, there is no talk of relationship, because that might spoil the mood. THE CONQUERED PUSSY - This is the girl who teased you for about two or three years and finally you get your chance and you please the pussy in a way it has never been pleased before. Now you have this girl calling you and wondering when ya'll can HOOK UP again. There is no pussy better then THE CONQUERED PUSSY. THE ALL INCLUSIVE PUSSY - This when you get all the benefits of sex. The pussy is yours for the taking. Whether it is night or day, still in her church dress type pussy. The pussy smells like roses even after sex and tastes better than candy. Not only is the pussy yours whenever or wherever you want it, she give you ALL the sexual favors you can imagine. The head is tremendous, the kind that you write your niggas in jail about and she can handle the dick when you hit it from the back. To top it off, she is not scared to take it in the ass. This is in close running with THE CONQUERED PUSSY for the best pussy to ever get. THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY - This is the pussy you met on the last trip you and the fellas took. She only keeps in touch via email and she does not want a long distance relationship. She visits only at your discretion and always comes alone but is willing to bring a friend. She is number one when you go back to that city and only wants to have lunch to catch up on missed conversation. THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY is necessary for the traveling single man. THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY - This is the girl you call when you need to let some loose. You decide to call her when your day at work is miserable. You may even set this up before leaving work or on the way home. The only reason for this activity to take place is to get your mind off of other things. Afterwards you might think to yourself and say why did I just do that. The girl who is receiving the dick doesn't mind cause she doesn't get much action to begin with. THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY is sometimes THE WENDY'S WINDOW PUSSY. THE FREQUENT FLIER PUSSY - This is the girl you know is fucking around, but you just don't care. She has lubrications that are halfway used already. She always has condom wrappers in her bathroom trash and beer in the fridge. The only reason why you keep fucking is because it's good, she's not bad looking and there could never be a relationship. It has not been proven, but she could have fucked one of the guys you use to go to school with. The pussy is not loose, but it is not THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY. I'll get to that later..... TIME TO GO PUSSY - This is the pussy that when the pants come off her you can smell the nahh nahh! Fellas if this happens it is not even worth the two bars of soap it will take to get rid of the stench off your dick. This occurs with girls you bring home from the club, so to avoid this, take a good whiff while in the car with her or better yet invite her to take a shower with you. THE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT PUSSY - This is the girl everyone expects you to fuck. You haven't touched her cause she either has a big mouth, lives next door or is a close friend of the family's relative. There is also the chance that she is all three. She is cute but you know the consequences. She continues to tease you with the pussy and at any moment when the both of you are alone, she lets you know she wants to fuck. The best thing to do is fuck her friend. Last but not least......... THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY - This is the girl that you fucked only one time cause she could not handle the dick. No matter the position you tried, she complains that it hurts. Not only is she screaming like you are murdering the woman, but she puts her hands on your hips so that you can't get your full stroke on. It's like fucking with half of your dick. She does not know the proper way to suck dick so there is no pleasure there. and doggy style to her is just Snoop's first album.

Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideas. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH