Kitty Kat's blog: "Jealousy"

He knows what he does to me he knows how i feel...And yet he is still draggin me along as if im just time to kill. Im waiting in hope that things will change, but they never do they always stay the same. Should i stay or should i leave? I ask myself this as i lay here trying to fall asleep. Its only been ashort amount of time, but i wouldnt erase it no matter what the crime. Yeah what im doing is wrong, but if he says its okay cant i just play along. We play the roles so good its crazy, but then i remember i aint his lady. What can i do its my fault im here. I wanted to meet him and now i want to keep him near. The funny thing is this wasnt suppose to happen, we were just suppose to think of could happen. I blame myself for letting myself open up to him, its crazy how things turn out one day your happy the nexy day you just wanna scream and shout. Do i stay or do i leave...Its him I want, its him i need...what will happen i guess we will have to wait and see

Jealousy it sure as hell dont look good on me.... I guess im just jealous of what i dont have and what i could have. Its as though i always put my heart on the line with the wrong person I mean i knew it was wrong from the moment i laid eyes on him I have no right to say what he can and cant do and either does he And yet we both have our jealous ways The sitution im in has happened before and yet im allowing it to happen again I let myself open and the first time got turned down Will it happen again im not sure but i know that the jealousy is still there Just like it was for the first i have it for the second. Both had girlfriends and yet i decided to put myself out there for them. Its funny cause i get jealous to know they are wit someone I guess i cant really expect much since i put myself in this situation Jealousy...Yeah thats something that I have but i guess its because i have no trust How can you have trust for someone who is okay with cheating on the one they care about It just doesnt make sense to me why i continue to put myself in these situations Im hoping that i learn sooner than later that i do deserve someone better Someone who will be 100% mine and not just mine sometimes Not when it is a good time for them. I dont want to get hurt again I know i will and yet i wont leave or i wont say no Its almost as though i give myself false hope I like to think i can change someone.... Who knows what imma do