GoddessDevine's blog: "It means something"

When you walk outside your door, What do you wish for? When you get in your car to head into the office, What do you wish for? When you sit down at your desk, Get behind the wheel of your comapny vehicle, Start prepping for the lunch rush, What do you wish for? Do you wish for more time to do your job? Do you wish for less job so you have more time? Is there an instance in your life that your NOT wishing? Everyday I wake up, wishing the sun would sleep a bit longer, wishing the day would not be drawn out, wishing I had more to look forward too after getting up, wishing my life was so much different. Then I wish I wasnt so selfish, and go about my day.

It all started out with (Deb) Blueroses ~Blueroses~ you just never know @ fubar and (Barb) Tulsa's Angel Tulsa's Angel~ Sarge's Bad Girl ~ Club FAR Promoter / Sisters4Life ~ @ fubar talking about needing a girls night out. Ha! It didn't take much to convince us that even tho we're in different states, we ARE going to do this! Calling all girls needing a night out! Saturday, April 19th, 2008 in Richardson, Texas, be there or be square! So far we have (Deb) ~Blueroses~ (Barb) Tulsa's Angel Tulsa's Angel~ Sarge's Bad Girl ~ Club FAR Promoter / RisingStar ~ @ fubar (Amber) Sexy Green Eyes Sexy Green Eyes @ fubar and (Nikki) ^Sin^ ^sin^-¢¾fu gf 2 sexy sheila¢¾ @ fubar Mel will be there if she can get away Sweet Mel*Sarge's Bad Girl*Greeter Club F.A.R @ fubar (Charlene) Goddess Devine said she will be there! Goddess }|{ Devine @ fubar (Kris) Cowgirlup signed up! woot! Cowgirl UP!! CBE owner of herself!!! @ fubar (Liz) Polishsiren knows where the party's at! :D polishsiren @ fubar and ... We have at least five or six non-Fubarians which we are trying to get on Fuland! Oh...we also have Phantom Dale as the token male to keep us girls in line! *Phantom* @ fubar No other boys except Mike - Baby Jesus, Scrapper, and Wild Horse are invited! Sorry boys! This is going to be THE happening party of the year! Here's my blast: For more information, contact Tulsa's Angel or Blueroses! How's this for the outfit of the evening (minus the white bra of course lol)? Come on girls! Get you a shirt or two for those not on here yet! WOOT! COME ON NOW AND GET YOUR TANK OR TEE HERE: fubar T-Shirts! @ fubar

Ok its been a REALLY hard week for me. I'm sorry I havent been around much, I'm sorry to the Bad Girls for not being more supportive, but you have to understand my situation here and no I'm not spilling it all out here in a blog. I will say this... I've been dealing with my children. And as my profile says they come first. Last week I had my son in and out of the docs, very serious sinus infection. Hes much better and back to school, but now I am home again with my daughter, and hers is a bit worse. I bought my youngest son (yes I have 3 kids) an electric scooter for his 12th birthday last week, my daughter being the tom boy and sister of two older brothers decides to try it out too.. She fell off and broke her arm. Out of the 3 of course she has to be the first to break a bone. So needless to say things have been pretty hard for me. I've been online but not always at my desk. I entered a contest but as most of you can tell not the usual shameless self promotion because I cant sit still long enough. Surprisingly enough I'm doing ok in it. Total surprise.. but I'm not complaining. Anyway.. nuff rambling just wanted those that actually pay attention to know whats going on. Love to all. Goddess}|{Devine

When I close my eyes… My heart seeks radiance, My mind desires reflection, My body craves a unity, And then I think of you… When I close my eyes… The ocean breeze caresses my face, The waves collide with the shore, The white caps break in the wind, And then I feel your hand in mine… When I close my eyes… You’re here with me, Holding me, Kissing me, Whispering to me. And then…. I hear your heart beat… As I lay, Sound asleep, Coiled on your chest, This is where I desire to be most, When I close my eyes… For the keeper of my heart..... Goddess}|{Devine

Desperate and alone… again, Blinding beams of hatred and resentment, All positioned in one direction. Waiting, wanting, needing, So much more, Everything happens for a reason. Solitary confinement, In a scope occupied with wanderers, Gazing back to an instant where time stood still. But was it satisfying? Has it ever been agreeable? Did the heart soften, the fear subside? Take a breath. Find reality… For only while you are sleeping, Do the fairy tales come true… }|{

Yeah so I'm here again... not all together sure why, but I can say the first sign of bullshit again and I'm gone for good. I have a few friends that continue to have me logging into fubar to see pics or something *you know who you are :P * ANYway... I like this place just not some of the people.. guess I will have to learn better how to ignore them. I did learn one lesson the hard way.. dont make people here your real life friends, because its all a lie.. a game.. Definitely dont open your heart to anyone.. Yeah I know it was stupid in the first place but we all gotta learn for ourselves right? No more seriousness here.. nothings real.. so dont take me seriously either.. and dont expect anything real out of me.. because here.. I am not at all who I am in real life.. since no one cares to see the real me anyway, I'll leave it for reality. Later! }|{

Removed….. with such a painful jolt Lost….. no bread crumbs to follow Pain….. beats in time as the life scurries away Tears….. flooding planes without resistance Past….. ruins the future and what could be Emotions….. not allowed, flowing to freely Phrase….. always misunderstood in a cloud of judgment Love….. never to be worthy, not even close Fear….. thunder of hate, words that strike Regret….. only the time taken from another day Aching….. with every breath I take Yearning….. for that voice to say…… anything Soul….. shattered Misplaced….. My Heart