changing owners's blog: "Interesting Articles"

Do you ever get the feeling that there are three people in your relationship – you, your guy and his ex? Does he still talk or email with her often? Or maybe he holds an unhealthy grudge, or seems preoccupied with what she’s doing now? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it may mean that he hasn’t completely let go yet. How can you tell if he’s not really over his ex? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage offers five warning signs:

1. He wasted no time before jumping into his next relationship. If you started dating this guy shortly after his latest breakup, there’s a good chance he’s not completely over his ex – no matter what he says. “There are hopes and dreams we have when we get into a relationship that we lose when we lose that relationship,” says Tessina. “It takes some time [to get over those things].” She points out that men often avoid the grieving process that follows a breakup, even though it can be instrumental in helping them assess the relationship and move on. “You want to be sure he can talk about it – that he can analyze it a little bit, and can say what went wrong and what went right and what part he played in what went wrong.” But even if he isn’t quite there, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. As Tessina explains, “It just means you need to understand that he still has some processing to do, and he’s probably going to do some of it with you.”

Read Should You Friend Exes on Facebook?

2. He fell for you before his relationship ended. These are men like John Edwards and Tiger Woods, who tell you their previous relationships are over or broken, but they still go home to their wives or girlfriends. It sounds obvious, but these guys are bad news. “It doesn’t matter if he says the relationship is bad,” Tessina says. “He has a cheating mentality.” And if he cheats on her, he probably wouldn’t have a problem with cheating on you. Even if he does eventually leave his wife or girlfriend – a very big if, by the way -- and you’re willing to give it a go with this guy, he literally hasn’t had any time on his own to process the demise of that previous relationship so you could run into the same problems as in #1, above. Bottom line: This is probably not someone you want to be with.

3. When it comes to his ex, he only deals in extremes. If your new guy can’t say his ex’s name without spitting, this is another warning sign. “If he’s talking about her constantly, and she’s either the most wonderful thing in the world or the most terrible thing in the world, but it’s unrealistic, you need to ask him about his role in the relationship,” says Tessina. There are two people in every couple, and there’s no way his ex was as great or awful as he makes her sound. “If he’s not talking about it at all, you need to say ‘I think it’s valuable to for us to talk about our past relationships so we can see what went wrong and what we need to do differently in this relationship.’”

4. He can’t break the string. There are plenty of reasons a guy may stay in touch with his ex, and they aren’t necessarily all bad. “If they have kids in common, they have to be in contact,” Tessina says. “If they were together for a long, long time, there’s also some reason for contact.” But if neither situation applies, and he still won’t stop talking to his ex, you should initiate a conversation about her – carefully. “What you don’t want to do is set yourself up against his ex,” says Tessina. Here, too, she recommends talking to him about his relationship with his ex, and what he thinks he can do better or differently in your relationship. She also suggests offering to reach out to the ex yourself, but if he’s not up for that – and if he doesn’t seem compelled to change anything about the current situation, even if it’s making you uncomfortable – that’s a major red flag. “I would slow the relationship down immediately [in those circumstances],” she says. “I’d say, ‘I can’t go further if you’re going to have a relationship with somebody that has to be behind my back.’”

Read 5 Signs He’s Not the Guy For You

5. He obsesses over the remnants of the relationship. If he’s always checking her Facebook profile or you catch him poring over old pictures, you could also have a problem. “He’s not finished, he hasn’t done his grieving,” says Tessina. “You have to understand that if you stay in a relationship with him, you’re going to be part of that grieving process.” As Tessina points out, when you’re in a relationship you talk about just about everything. Whether it’s work, friends or family, there’s always something to discuss over dinner, and past relationships should be no different. Let him know you’re open to talking about his exes. Discussing this relationship could help him work through his feelings and move forward – and may even bring the two of you closer together.

If your guy hasn’t completely let go of his ex, proceed with caution – but know that your relationship isn’t necessarily a lost cause. He may want to be with you, but needs just a bit more time to deal with his breakup. The key to making it work is both of you being  willing to talk openly about his old relationship and his feelings about his ex. And if, when all is said and done, he just can't let go, you may have to be the one who moves on.

Can Oral Sex Cause Throat Cancer? Be Safe, Not Sorry By Edward C. Geehr, M.D. Thursday, December 20, 2007 In an era of HIV and chastity rings, teenagers and young adults – roughly 75% of them – have turned to oral sex as a “less risky” option. But it’s not safe sex. And while it won’t get you pregnant, it can still get you into big trouble. For the first time ever, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have established a link between oral sex, the human papillomavirus (the same virus that causes cervical cancer) and throat cancer. That adds to a roster of risks already tied to oral sex: herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and HIV… This is scary news for the rising numbers of young people choosing oral sex over intercourse. One Johns Hopkins professor notes that since 1990, the percentage of male patients at his clinic alone who have had oral sex has risen from 50% to about 75%; for women and girls, from 25% to about 75%. That’s a huge number exposing themselves to this cancer risk, among other sexually transmitted diseases. Relatively uncommon, throat cancer is usually associated with smoking and alcohol. The type linked to the human papillomavirus (HPV) afflicts roughly 11,000 Americans each year, about the same number of new cervical cancer cases. Throat cancer typically involves the base of the tongue, the tonsils, or the back of the throat. Because it is so rare among people who don’t drink or smoke, the symptoms – sore throat, swollen glands, or a cold sore – are easy to dismiss, delaying diagnosis and treatment. The Hazard of HPV HPV can be found in saliva, urine, semen, and genital secretions. It is transmitted through sexual, skin-to-skin, and possibly even mouth-to-mouth contact. (See related article: The ABCs of HPV) The Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 20 million people are infected with HPV and that 50% of sexually active people will eventually be infected. In the United States alone, some five million new infections occur each year. In fact, the majority of sexually active people eventually come in contact with HPV. Fortunately, in most cases the body mounts an immune response that eliminates the virus. But a small portion of people infected with HPV fail to clear the virus, and a subset of those develop cancer. Earlier studies have linked HPV with head and neck cancers. What the present study establishes, however, is the link between certain high-risk sexual behaviors, oral HPV infection and throat cancers, regardless of other risk behaviors such as drinking and smoking. The particular subtype of HPV that correlates with throat cancer is known as HPV16. Researchers estimate that about 18% of women and 8% of men (1%-2% of the total population) carry HPV16. The study examined 100 people with throat cancer and 200 without it for HPV infection and asked questions about their sexual histories. After adjusting for other factors such as smoking and drinking, the researchers found that participants who tested positive for HPV were 32 times more likely to have throat cancer. And those who had one to five oral sex partners were nearly four times more likely to have cancer compared to those who had not. People with six or more partners were nearly nine times more likely to develop cancer. And it made no difference if the partners were male or female. (See related article: 11 Things You Should Know About HPV) Pocket Protection Abstinence is the only certain protection from HPV. Previous studies have demonstrated that consistent condom use can reduce the risk of genital HPV infection. And other studies have shown that infrequent use of condoms with a new oral or vaginal sex partner increased the risk of throat cancer. Although it’s unclear how effective condoms are for preventing oral cancers, using them to reduce the risk is a very smart move. HPV screening is now a recommended part of cervical cancer screening. But how helpful screening for HPV as part of a throat cancer screening might be is unclear: Even if HPV is detected in the cancer, treatment recommendations such as surgery, radiation and chemotherapy remain the same. Although no vaccine can treat individuals who already carry the HPV virus, the Gardasil vaccine, does protect against contracting the forms of HPV – including HPV16 – that cause cervical cancer. But no studies have been done testing the vaccine’s protection against throat cancer. Moreover, an editorial in the New England Journal of Medicine has questioned the effectiveness of the vaccine at preventing precancerous lesions. But if vaccination proves to be as effective in preventing oral HPV16 infection as it has in preventing cervical cancer, it may be possible to reduce the incidence of throat cancers. Condoms may help to reduce risk but offer no certain immunity from infection. To protect yourself, treat oral sex with the same caution as other forms of sexual contact. Oral sex is not safe sex. Are You at Risk for Oral Cancer from HPV? The recent buzz about sexually transmitted infections has been about the human papillomavirus (HPV) and its link to cervical cancer. But that's not the only worry you should have about this virus. According to a 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, HPV can cause oral cancer, too. Are you at risk? Take this oral cancer quiz to find out. The information contained on www.lifescript.com (the "Site") is provided for informational purposes only and is not meant to substitute for advice from your doctor or healthcare professional. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing any medication. Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical condition. Information and statements provided by the site about dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. LifeScript does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, third-party products, procedures, opinions, or other information mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by LifeScript is solely at your own risk. Here is the link to the article http://www.lifescript.com/channels/healthy_living/Health_Conditions/can_oral_sex_cause_throat_cancer.asp?page=1

MEEEE OWIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cat Lover or Not, this is hysterical! We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second." So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they only knew! Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

Im in my first auction, is being held by the Southern Sex Symbols. Click on the pic below and come show me some luv. The winning bid holder will recieve the following --One month of the following on a daily basis *2 gifts *2 drinks *daily comments --Added as my Crush for a month --Everything rated * pics * blogs * stash. --Pimp out * bulletin * blog *on profile.