StatMnd's blog: "Inside the mind of yours truly"

The Dream, good job, nice house,car, husband/wife, kids, general prosperity. Everybody wants it, a good handful achieve it. The American dream; instilled in our minds early on in life. Other countries model themselves for it, while others want to destroy it.

How did this idea become so highly regarded that some people are willing to do anything to have it? No matter what the cost, some of us try so hard to get to that "American Dream" that they can almost taste it, while in the same breath envy those with it already.

So how can a person be upset with another who has that "Dream" or are really close to obtaining it? Envious of where they are and where they are headed. To that question I answer, everybody has a choice no matter how difficult it is, to find a path to thier "American Dream". To be envious of another person's ladder climb to that "Dream" seems in my opinion a little shameful and unfair because you have the choice to get to where you want to be. If you really want something you'll do anything within your own reason to achieve it.

Again to be envious of another seems odd don't you think? Someone can almost ask the question, "Is that person anti-American?"

Man the people I have to work with always amazes me, and today wasn't an exception. I for the U.S.P.S, and I have to say I've met alot of weird (coughs) I mean interesting people at my job so far. But today was the kicker. I have to work some some really dumb people, I mean they can't think for themselves or 5 minutes in front of them which frustrates me alot. Some of these people in my opinion are just sheep easily lead and easily subdued when something bothers them, this lady kept asking the same dumb-ass (in my opinion) question about what we should be doing after me explaining to her what was going on, and worrying for no reason about stuff that was that serious, and the other guy I was working with is just a lost cause he does some of the most asinine things I've ever seen and heard in my life, and that just the tip of the iceberg. I say for every sane person I work with there are at-least 3 loonies/crippled people who work there and ( I don't make fun of them) but what could you possibly contribute to the type of work that goes on down [post office] there. Normally the odd things that I encounter don't bother me or stress me out, but today was just like...."grrrrrrr!!!" again alot of these people are just sheep, I mean think for yourself stop waiting for others to tell you what to do or your too complacent to find out on your own what needs to be done. Man what a night!!!!

I dunno

So yeah today a friend, well I can't say friend, we talk from time to time but hardly hang out much, okay maybe an associate that's in the transitional phase has been asking me for a movie she wanted to borrow so she texts me today (Sunday) asking for it so I text her back and say when does she want it. She explains to me that she's over her aunt's house and that I could drop it off there, and hang out there since I was off today. I'm kind of like to myself hmmm..."hang out at your aunt's house???". Earlier that week she explained to me that since her aunt died they have a gathering every Sunday. So I text her back like, "I bet there is a ton of people down there huh?" So then she calls me and says,"No there isn't alot of people down here, it's just me, my sister, my other sister and her boyfriend her other sister, her aunt, her dad and her mom. I'm like wow sounds like a good bit of people to me, I was like yeah...I think I'll pass, she was like, "Why are you scared, cause it sounds like you are" and to be honest I was. I mean I'm showing up at a family get-together, which always makes me uncomfortable, not to mention I didn't want questions raised if I was seeing her or not which I'm not and I've never met any of these people and you want "throw me to the wolves" in a sense. So she kept pushing the issue so I said I have someone on the other line and ended that conversation (yeah I know sucky way to get off the phone) So am I wrong for feeling the way I did about the situation, or was it remotely justifiable. I do feel kind of guilty so

I dunno

I'm tired of having to prove myself to people I've been having to do that for a good bit of my life and I'm tired of it. I'm to the point where I don't give a shit anymore, I think it's because of the way I look, matter-of-fact I know that's what it is. People always assume stuff about me or think I'm a joke with nothing to offer or on the other end, they feel like they have to be jealous of me and intentionally cause a disturbance because they don't like me. I stay to myself and don't get involved in stuff that I know isn't my business. This world is soooooo shallow it's so sad I see people talking trash about someone just because of how they look, which puzzles the hell out of me, I've met some amazing people, and no they didn't look like Jessica Alba or George Clooney. I don't get it what do I have to do to be respected, they think I'm a push-over because I bend alot, but I don't break, and when I'm honest, I'm considered mean. I'll try my hardest to avoid confrontation, I have better energy usage then to argue or fight with someone over something, most of the time, is dumb in nature. I honestly don't give a fuck what people think about me anymore, as long as they leave me be and don't cause me to mean or rude. Like in an earlier post I honestly believe I would be better off on an island by my damn self so no more "intelligent" human contact could be encountered. World... go fuck yourself, but make sure you have a condom on so you don't make anymore like yourself...

Look around you at all the things that were constructed, houses, cars, trees, people, relationships and more. It took time to make/construct those things months, even years of diligence to make those things what they are, to mold them into what you want. In the same blink of an eye all those things can be destroyed in one, single swoop of misfortune. A grand example of this is an army they are trained and good at what they do, destroying things. Then you have those who try to repair the damage of an army and it's difficult almost impossible to repair what once was fine. Has anybody else noticed this besides me, that it's so hard to make something but so easy to destroy it? It's crazy when you think about it, that things are like that in this world, in some cases it's a pain to bring someone pleasure but a pleasure to bring someone pain. So many people are at such an ease saying bad things and bringing harm a person's way, but on the other end it's so hard for the same person to say something nice about someone or do something positive that it almost "kills" them to do it. I guess if I were to put this into an equation it would be....construction/destruction= end result left. I dunno I've been thinking about this alot lately.

Yup, in stereo so it means it happens all around me alot of times. What am I talking about you ask? Well being stereotyped. I'm tired of people assuming stuff about me, I'm also tired of proving myself to people also, what the hell do I have to do to be left alone and respected for what I say or believe in?? Well anyway I was walking home from work and this white guy stopped and stared at me from across the street, so he finally yells at me and he says, "Hey, you got any crack??" I said, "What?! I don't even know what you are talking about." and kept walking. This isn't the only time someone has said something like that to me. The other common one is, "Hey, you know where I can get some weed??" Thats pisses me off to no end. I mean what the hell. Since I'm a young black male I already fit the bill of a weed smoker or a person who sells drugs?...FUCK!!! Oh and another one is people think I'm stupid. I don't even know how people can assume that and they try to get-over on me, or discredit what I say to them as just something I don't know nothing about which really angers me. I tell people stuff or explain my view about something and then they automatically think I'm some dumb-ass who knows nothing, when-in-fact I may know more than them, or can grasp a concept faster then they can. I'm tired of proving myself to people I'm almost to the point where I don't give a fuck no more, and to be honest, wishing I could live on an island by my damn self...people and how they act get on my nerves to no end anymore. WTF!!!!!???

Yeah the title is kind of true, I'm just bored with majority of the people I'm meeting recently. Just talking to people in general. They seem to be all the same, same ole boring stuff in my opinion. I haven't had an interesting conversation with anybody in a long ass time. Or met people with common interests either. I'm not being conceded or self centered (trying so hard not to be or act like it) but it seems not alot of people relate to me or me to them. Hey I'm one of the goofiest people a person can be, but thats fun sometimes, having a meaningful conversation about something that isn't so mundane or related to what goes on in everyday life would be nice sometime. I guess I'm trying to say I'm a free-thinker so normal stuff doesn't interest me all that often. Is there anyone who might peak my interest??

It sucks starting a new job with no money... So yeah I started my new job at the post office and it's been cool so far. So today I had to make a choice... not go to work because I only have money to get there, or go and walk home... So yeah I went with option number 2 and walked home. I mean I'm not complaining it was something that had to be done. The walk wasn't short either. The General Mail Facility is on the North Side and I had to walk to Mt. Washington. I get off at 9pm and normally on the bus I get home at 9:35 but walking tonight I got home at 10:55 which isn't that bad. A good person kept me company (no they couldn't pick me up) for the most part and I appreciated it..THANK YOU!!! That has to be the 3rd time I've walked from the North Side-home in my lifetime so far...

Everything has to be checked and everything has to be put in balance some way or some how in my opinion. It's the natural order of things to me, wars have to be started, diseases come about and spread, and disasters and accidents happen. It's a way to check those things and balance them. Could you imagine if WWII didn't happen, I wish it wouldn't have happen but it did. Could you imagine the world now if it wouldn't have happened though. The world may have been over populated, a situation that some countries are at or approaching now. With every war that has come about people die... and when they die they make room for others to live. Don't get me wrong though I don't support wars, if I had any say I would make people with conflicting problems stand in the corner with their ears up their behinds so they could hear the crap thats coming out of them. Think about all the unfortunate events that occur to people everyday. Think about viruses and diseases that people contract or get diagnosed with. Even though its sad to hear about a loved one or anyone for that matter that has become ill. You have to think back to checks and balances. If everyone and everything was healthy and no one/thing was sick how would this world function. Even though death is something we are sadden by it's essential to life, so without death there isn't life. Think about all the leaves falling off the trees now. They died to make way for new ones, those leaves you see on the ground will become fertilizer for the upcoming spring so those trees can produce again. How could you enjoy or sustain yourself with that burger or salad (if you vegetarian) if that animal or head of lettuce didn't die. We want to eradicate disease and hunger, advert the next disaster, implement the latest in safety features to keep everyone safe and alive. Without suffering something else can't prosper, that is the bottom line... thats the way this world and ultimately this universe works. With every disease we eradicate (check) another one is discovered (balance). Yes AIDS and cancer will be cured, but another one will take its place. That is just the order of things. With every new safety feature we invent, a new way to die will follow. We as people and the dominant beings on this planet need to and have to understand that death is something that has to happen. We are all selfish in a way when we are saddened by the death of someone or the loss of something. It had to happen; it was, in my opinion supposed to happen. I'm not saying you should, but think about it as... it made way for something else or someone to prosper...to live.