I set here in bed watching the clock as time passes so slow. I use to welcome the night and enjoy her embrace, but now I just wish I could sleep. I wish all these thoughts would stop consuming me! I lay here staring at the same four walls again talking myself through it all only to raise more questions then I can answer. I drift off into deep thoughts and when I come back to I wish more then ever I had the answers to all of my questions. It seems that my faith is being put to the test again I am not sure how this one will end. It feels as though I can't breath like there is an invisible weight on my shoulders holding me down. They say time can heal you but in my case it seems to be my worst enemy. All time does is remind me of the things that are wrong and how the things that seem right are just out of reach. I know I have so much more to say but cant find the right words to say...I thought if I write it out something would come over me an I would feel calm. All I feel is....I am not sure what it is that I feel...