cowboy up's blog: "ill be gone the hole weekend"

YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE TELLS IT ALL A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite." "OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" "That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. "My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend. "Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers ' license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it." Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32." The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out? "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?" "And," the little girl says triumphantly,"I know why you and daddy got a divorce." "Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?" "You got an F in Sex."

exclamations well knock me down and steal muh teeth well butter my butt and call me biscuit ahm fixin ta do that threats ill slap you so hard when you wake up your clothes with be outta style this ll jar your preserves dont you makein me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya compliments cute as a sack full of puppies if things get any better i may have to hire someone to help enjoy it gooder than grits the weather its so dry the trees are bribing the dogs it been hotter'n a goats butt in a pepper patch wintery roads are said to be slicker than otter snot descriptions a bothersome person is like a booger that you cant thump off when somthing is bad then you say that ain't no count if something is hard to do it's like trying to herd cats' he ran like his feet was on fire and his butt was catchin insults she uglier than homemade soap' your momma's so fat when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed it said to be continued he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits the wheels still turning but the hamster dead any insulting statement is always followed by bless his/her hart '' like she's dumber than a door knob bless her heart

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for a special day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!! Luv, from yor romeo Send this fun greeting to your friends!

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John. A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone- It seems one night after getting with the wife She Lopped off his Dong with the swipe of a knife PENIS, That Is. Clean Cut. Missed His Nuts. Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend And tossed him out the window as she came around a bend CURVE, That is Tossed the Nub. In the Shrub. She went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there!" To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air. FOUND, That Is By a Fence. Evidence. Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a Dick Doc said, "Hey I can fix that dong." A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed WHIZZED, That Is Even Seam, Straight Stream Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short. They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape VIDEO, That Is Unexposed. Case Closed. Ya'll Sleep on Your Stomachs Now, Ya hear...

ill be gone the weekend and when i get back ill give out comments show love and i and i hope you all like the new pic that one was taken this morning and i am going to see my son i thank it scard him the last time i went to see hime was couse he had never seen me with a beard and i thank that why he said what he did so ill try to see if this works but send love out to all famely frends and the fans thank you all for the 10s and the comments and i will do my best to vote on all your pic's when i get back take care send hugss and kisses just show luv your frend out-law thomas

these are the thangs i cant get ive meet a lot of nice and new frends here on lost cherry and hope to meet more of your all but here were what i do not get is this they want to be add to the messger to chat you add them then the chat goes good for a few days may be a week then you have to leave town for a weekend durn my weeking going i went thew hell and back and when i get back to chat to frends on the messger they act like they do not know ya stuff like that and the bad weeking i had just make me want to craw under a rock but i come here see them on line they do do reply so i do the next thang i like to do here vote and comment on frends pic's as ive all ways have and all ways will but i am a little down and it take time to get over this that the thang i cant under stand and my son did not want to see me he ask me to leave and never come back i thank that kills me more then any thang and my farther sold mt bike wile i was gone tell me it a mistake now how in the hell can that be that and lost of frends or thout i had frends and the ones i do got they know who they are lol i got deep south love for all my frends just showing love xoxoxo and if you can help me on this ill re turn it to ya some how luv ya all

i will be gone this weekend i am going to see my son so i want be on lc i will when i get back ill send out comment to all of ya and rate ya pic's but rite now i can send ya this thank you all for been my frend it mean a lot to me