In about 3 weeks, April 13, will be the 2nd anniversary of my brothers death. Being he died on Good Thursday of 06 even this month, with it having Easter, has been so hard for me.
April I am not looking forward to and if I could hibernate I would, but where could I hibernate and not remember. It is always there. Even my birthday is affected, as it was on my 50th I was giving his eulogy, it is something I will always associate with that milestone.
I come from a family of 6 siblings and I am the oldest,he was a year younger. Our birthdays were only 5 days apart. I looked up to my him, he was always there for me when I needed him, I miss that terribly.
I thought for sure now that 2 years have gone past that I would have gotten over this terrible sadness that comes over me this time of the year. I haven't it still hits me. It has gotten better for the most part cause I can get thru most days without crying,though some things really hit me hard, holidays and April, and dentists, as he was my mine. I still have a hard time listening to Tom Petty as Bob listened to him a lot.
So for the next few weeks if i seem distracted or a bit standoffish its not you but me going thru some sad days and memories.