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Lady Neptune's blog: "funny"

created on 10/09/2007  |  http://fubar.com/funny/b139190

bottle of merlot

Bottle of Merlot A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman who is seated over there." ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants " After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. It read: "Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, Bentley Convertible, Mercedes SL600, and a Porsche Carrera 4 in several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Italy , South Florida and a 10,000 acre ranch in California . There is over one hundred and sixty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back."
I got this off one of my wicca family yahoo groups. Its pretty good. Grandma got ran over by a broomstick Walking home from our house Halloween. Now you can say there's no such thing as witches. But as for me and grandpa, we believe. She'd consumed too many spirits. And we begged her not to go. But she'd forgot her Belladonna, So she sacheted out the door, we didn't know. When they found her the next morning At the scene of the attack. She had bristles on her forehead, And incriminating brush marks on her back. Grandma got ran over by a broomstick. Walking home from our house Halloween. You can say there's no such thing as witches, But as for me and grandpa, we believe. Now we're all so proud of grandpa. He's been taking it so well. See him in there watching wrestling, Drinking wine and dancing skyclad with cousin Nell. It's not Samhain without grandma. She's the one with the big hat. And we just can't help but wonder, Should we divvy up her candy, or send it back. Grandma got ran over by a broomstick, Walking home from our house Halloween. You can say there's no such thing as witch's. But as for me and grandpa, we believe. Now the punch is on the table, And the pumpkin, it's so big. And the black and silver candles That would just have matched the hair in grandma's wig. I've warned all my friends and neighbors, Better watch out for yourselves. They should never give a license, To a gal who flies a broomstick deosil. (Deosil: Clockwise. The term is usually used to refer to the direction of a witch's dance or Circle-casting.(D Grandma got ran over by a broomstick, Walking home from our house Halloween. You can say there's no such thing as witch's, But as for me and grandpa, we believe.
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