Swoop's blog: "FROM THE ARCHIVES of Lunacy"

The Answer To Why loved you with the scrapps of a broken heart natural failure because when you needed something more she couldn't bring miracles or hope in the darkness and you're lost with the girl soon to follow but this is the end for the fallen angel the last days of sanity when breath is too expensive to bear much longer so it's time to leave the "brother" who tried to guide the biologics who found dissappointment the young lover she failed into the darkness to start again and perhaps find less failure in the next life When It's Done you have turned in your cold moment away from truly seeing that the clues are written in words you used to hear so when it's over and you must know why it's because there was nothing but loss and mourning when the tears had to stop she went for the bottle Resentment and Death give the last of your love to save every one of them because you chose to believe that she was stronger drive into the night because this one or that one calls be the hero to all facilitate their weak moments as she slides away teach the final deadly lesson that it was always true there is nothing for the broken girl who sits in the dark waiting for the call that won't come the last of the reasons to hate herself a greater fool there couldn't be than to believe that it was possible

Give Back My Jaded hole in the heart where you should be just a fool in love lost in the dance we're in more lost in the life lost hungry for the dream clinging to the notion sheltered in your thoughts a rare moment at a time contrasted with your icy indifference when alone takes on a new meaning love has made me helpless a victim to the empty place where you hide tourmented by the moment you gave me hope again that there was one listening feeling, loving that there was a place to call home an angel to watch over that there could be peace... and i want my happy jaded ways back so help me fall from love to where i can rest in peace

Pulse how to be, how to be? to guide and heal to live when every moment is laced with the taste of desperation to hear your voice when all we have are words and hearts all dreams have become you and i am poisoned by knowledge that this is what i have sought like a photograph of a perfect moment you have rested in my heart and i am left sick with something wanting beyond reason for you to live in peace and love just to live until you're ready for me to hold you until that night when i will chase away the darkness beside you whispering in your quiet moments to show you what it is to be touched in love how to survive the time when you chase other distractions to swallow my fear that you'll open your eyes and see what i am and that none of this is worth it there is better far better how to be, how to be alive in this tragedy of love Unrequited how could it be that we have found this tragedy to love as we've always wanted to in such an impossibility two impatient poetic souls hungry for that perfect touch that would bring us home to have found this and be left reaching to be torn apart and pulsing with an unrequited love to miss at all times i have heard you in the dark across time when your heart leads your hand and the tears have come again contrasting the impossible so distracted and busy with the things of your life that keep your lonely mind from breaking your aching heart struggling to keep above the water when you speak of this one or that moment a new friend a midnight touch of lust a girl that i can't be struggling to be as i always have the love and support you treasure as i break under the weight of all to stay who you have loved to be who i wish to be to be your angel in the darkness when i'm falling apart Through the Darkness there is a picture of us at peace a romance that tells a story to be written and told again to give hope to the lost as we once were and i call to you with such an ache because it's so close and so far and all i can do to ease the heartsickness is close my weary eyes and see you in the darkness there is a picture of us deep in my mind in the arms of love and the story of us is beyond cliche made for eachother and now to live until we are to live come what may...

Fear and Fortune if i push can you love somewhere easier if i act frigid enough will you find someone prettier safer wiser more gentle a safer little girl to love because it always ends with murder and the last light in me will go when it happens to you Long Gone when you want me now how long will it last? when will silver time be gone in that instant when you find better i'm the typhoid mary in your heart slowly you'll see that they were right there's nothing here to hold it was too late long ago The End tried to tell you in quiet words that the ache was a sign that the end was at hand that there was nothing left that the knife is over there the pills are right here the bridge is nearbye whispered in your ear about the burning inside the restless nights that ate me alive tried to tell you with the way that i am but i was never enough Bipolar Heart how helpless i've become to the moments in and out of you the lost and found instants like soured milk where relief and joy are paired with fear and pain thinking too much and drowning in tears cold in this empty place hungry for any way to be only nearer to you

there's an ache that won't go away a lonely companion in the night sitting there inside whispering of darkness and loss whispering of fear and doubt because the angels are never real the miracles never happen love has never existed there's a dryness to a soul that withered from the injustice love spent and returned as hate breathe just breathe the moments will pass into the next and all with a bittersweet taste

Night Lovers Lost precious moments few in our lifetimes many in our love do you know that i feel you in the darkness when your mind won't rest and my body won't stop do you know that i'm there beside you in the dark touching your heart with my spirit cold fingertips on your face head resting on your shoulder as close to you as i can be do you know that i listen to your heartbeat in a twisted world of dreams and nightmares you are the father i lost the lover i've needed the friend i've died for do you feel it when my hand touches the earth and i call to you through these miles when i turn on these pillows and in these blankets the cold sweat of heartbreak hardly a comfort on these lonesom nights do you know that i wake reaching for you when i've never known your touch do you truly know that i'm there with you when you are mourning the distance and dying for that final embrace that will set us free and make new slaves of two lucky dreamers Betrayal i cracked a little more when you told me the tale how she took from you that beautiful human gift the physical love you tried to hold on to i cracked a little further when you whispered that she made it mechanical a duty when it turned from joy to obligation and from that moment till now i have waited anticipation feeding imagination i have waited for that moment when we are alone in the twilight hazy blue glow over our bodies staring into you side by side before i show you what love truly is how a simple touch can stop or start your heart before i give you the last secret i hold before i give you my body the only thing i've held back i cracked a little more and the wall fell to the ground when you told me what she stole and joy bloomed in my traitorous heart when i saw what i could give

Hope Again if it will heal those empty spaces deep in your broken blue eyes i will pulse my love across this space drag you into the light carry you in my heart which is as big as the world can stand if it will make you smile i will sing in the dark cry with you to those sappy love songs hold you with my voice until the last thoughts are still talk to you of the dreams we have and give you the last of the hope that remains in love, trust and faith i will wait for that first touch that brings the end of the journey Unanswerable Questions how have i earned this miracle when my sins have murdered the last of the faith how can i dare to dream again or open my wounded eyes when i have spent so many moments giving away my soul to the greed of the cowards i attract? how can it be that one as strong as you remains faithful when i have lost it all? Dreaming in Faith do you see? he's there in the night time and any time offering the best of what he is and could be to a lost child a friend beyond reason the dream that shouldn't come true the impossible wishes that i have fought against lesson upon lesson teaching me that he is impossible to keep the real inside hidden because it chases all away silly lost child struggling to remain deluded expectation breeds dissappointment and in all of this he is so real so close to it all and so impossibly far away US in Fear have cried to you of loss of violation and fear have shaken with terror in the nights when i thought it was the last of the love in my broken heart have begged the Goddess to bring you to me or me to you because the bleeding hearts must stop there must be somewhere for us to be other than these taunting dreams so i will sleep again in one remaining fear only the fear of time

A Story so lost and yet so strong my weeping angel and my mountain so far away how are you holding me up in your beautiful arms wings carrying us to the dream when you're so so lost? that perfect moment between two imperfect lovers is so close i can taste it in the night when my dreams and nightmares shake me to the waking time my gift is this tiny thought laced with reassurance in the deep dark night we both fear there is a miracle at our door that one beautiful horizon when you turn the corner and step into my world and i fall into yours when all the pieces of our lost moments all the questions that can never be answered come together and matter no longer when those fears we have are put to rest because the risk has been taken the journey started the beginning of the end of this torment Hardly a Sonnet did you know that this would be this? the life we would start to live when our tiring lives changed in an instant when the mourning in our hearts would carry us across space and time and heal the wounds that a desperation for love caused fill the holes in two souls from which we poured love and devotion for those human forms those voids we wasted love on did you know that this was going to happen that first casual time that you told me you loved me? that offhanded moment that meant so bloody much do you know that my heart races when you call that i am in bliss laughing with the mutual friend because you have put me in light again that the nightmares have finally gone away replaced by constant dreams of you that the only remaining insomnia is because i wait for the precious moments of your voice that love that i treasure do you know what you mean to me? My Lost Muse you cry into the night of being soul less of the mistakes made the shame inside the fear, always the fear but you cry wolf, my love do you have moments when you think i could be so devoted and so free do you think that the mate of my soul could lack his own? i have been a fool for love but not lost in the lies i have seen you in the darkness since before we met i have been holding your hand across this distance i have touched and allowed the touching of pieces that none but you have known i am, just am because of you Lost and Found love is no game anymore gone are the disappointments the love given and the black holes we poured heart and soul into those that took and took again love is in these moments when you pick my chin up with perfect words across the line love is in these moments when when my smile touches your heart and laughter heals your soul love is in every moment when we think that anything would be better side by side love has meaning now and we have found it in this dark world

Just This Sentence don't fall, my angel in your fears feel these apirition arms around you when i can not be at your side hear my love through these words through the voice at the end of the line at the end of the moment see me sheltered in this darkness wrapped in dusk and dawn naked before your eyes and as blue as you have ever been pulsing these energies through the earth to the lost lover at the other end of time and that's all that we have left to survive time, murdering time alone with our thoughts and together in hope there is a sentence to the crime payment for the miracle this magick between us will exact it's tole of three by three before we come to the end of the journey and the begining of our life. wise and ancient beyond your days carrying a heart too big for your sleeve we found eachother in the darkness of night as i worked to be anything and you fought to be something more don't fall my angel, before i am there so close to the miracle so close to US. For the Protector of my Heart and SOUL W.G.S.

Hey all, and welcome to the sick sad confines of my restless mind. welcome to a view of the cause of my insomnia, loneliness, fear and other assortment of insecurities. the following blog and blogs consist of a poetic journal...none of it is edited... i really do think like this, it's just me talking to a blank screen most of the time, or on wednesday nights (when i'm a regular at a local bar/club) a blank page, if i can find a pen ;) some of it is complete crap and here and there there are some good word combinations. hope you enjoy reading...but mostly it's sad stuff, so don't expect to find enlightenment here :D the following entry was written last night in my sadly unintoxicated state, and below the line were older bar writings from the past few weeks. enjoy peoples. oh yes, and if you see initials under a poem it's because it's about someone and i want certain people to know it... it eliminates confusion and people asking me if i'm talking about them... Image of Voluntary Servitude settle lover crimson tide ache of silent disaster murder of children nightmare smokescreen and chains all nonsense thoughts without time no consideration to passage Exposure Shelter gone helpless and cold lost among the lost lingering in the home of lust an alien comfort in a cliche ostracized world standing alone among the rejected Regretable Gift Sight unseen unwanted wisdom born of a brutal gift unreturnable unthinkable crushing crashing thoughts Lost Love lingering in my sins i dream of you all that is felt a voice and a love familiar in human form companion and assurance W.G.S. Arch Among Angels bound and penetant beautiful obsession brutal disaster dance in he sin divided and conquored devesated in a delierium configured of romance and ruin caleidoscope of misery crimson and noir lace ever clear in transparency enemy of one evolution of the masochist FUCK Passion's Path and Punnishment Magick heart and thrill of love shifted in time to betray hustled by fate growing into acceptance and murdered by empathy prostituted to my own morals constantly feeding the guilt with sin twisted savior too far to reach too scared, too mangled to believe how many crimes fed this tragedy two enormous hearts seperated and severed. Portrait the killer left in a broken heart says it's all just living listen lover striped in crimes prisoner of passion and mistakes hell bent on distraction crystals of innosence blended well with horror lie beneath this believable surface i am here, i am here Plea refridgerated redemption sweet and sacrifical richeous rituals seduced by salvation touch me Aborted in Life child of crimes dissatisfaction bread comtempt nothing left to simply speak designed disaster an angel's anger emptied into nothing can you write it out? this boiling these thoughts immortal to life empty bullets withehld by the angel who protects the innocent sinners high for the moment low for the life following fantasy by fantasy any dream will do even YOU ____________________________________________________________ HELP ME FIND THE END bar room ramblings Synopsis empty heart and empty gaze a breed apart born of rage Revolution Child light my empty heart decide my moments child of fault slide the meter to mean too much collide with all the broken pieces aged beyond reason child of a new pain Memory of my ExCorpse catered to your willful death let you drag me to the crypt decaying in your empty embrace stained black by your anti-love given all the pieces left to save your self broken heart martyered against my will nature wars with intent J.T.C. Transgressions heartbeat of ink and death spread before all roadkill of sins divided and conquored and out into the night again seek seek that place dark and away held in any way away from a place called home ripping the wings from an angel laughing at the fall devil beyond the Devil's means stone her with these words of love blackest sin you see crucify a broken heart and let her pay the fee home is where the heart is but mine's been torn away the angels came and called for due the Devil had his day Testament to the Weary Lover bloody heart angel in the darkness you lay until love made me find you that one fateful day all memories are over and time brought the past the tears of my soul are over at last two fools in the night both aching for love for some form of salvation a gift from above in the nighttime we touched the shyness long gone and clung to eachother each moment a song we woke in the morning and said our goodbyes to start an old journey to find new pain and cries as my heart slows its beating and comes to a stop know that you are blameless that fear made me pop so as life moves and this ends our time will be done but for this blessing no longer to run the last gift i can give i'll lay at your door the search finally over the pain never more and you saw in that moment when i chose to hide a sin had been committed long gone is the pride for i begged for mercy in that deep dark night to be carried away to give up the fight and you saw right through me the ghost in your arms soul suicide motivated for fear of your charms you'll be my ending and i your new start to give you this blessing until i depart that i see your soul and the heart that remains and love you in honesty regardless of pains all i've left to give is the truth of my sight that love can find you and will make it right. N.A.L.