FOREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
> The day finally arrived.
>
> Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
>
> He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the
> gates are closed, and
>
> Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
>
>
> St. Peter said,
>
> "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.
>
> We have heard a lot about you.
>
> I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we
> have been administering an entrance examination
>
> for everyone.
>
> The test is short, but you have to pass it
>
> before you can get into Heaven.."
>
>
> Forrest responds,
>
> "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.
>
> But, nobody ever told me about any entrance exam.
>
> I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
>
> Life was a big enough test as it was."
>
>
> St. Peter continued,
>
> "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
>
>
>
> First:
>
> What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
>
> Second:
>
> How many seconds are there in a year?
>
> Third:
>
> What is God's first name?"
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
>
> He returns the next day and
>
> sees St. Peter,
>
> who waves him up, and says,
>
> "Now that you have had a chance to think
>
> the questions over, tell me your answers"
>
>
> Forrest replied,
>
> "Well, the first one --
>
> which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
>
> Shucks, that one is easy.
>
> That would be Today and Tomorrow."
>
>
> The Saint's eyes opened wide and
>
> he exclaimed,
>
> "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but
>
> you do have a point, and
>
> I guess I did not specify, so
>
> I will give you credit for that answer."
>
> "How about the next one?" asked St. Peter
>
>
> "How many seconds in a year?
>
> Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but
>
> I thunk and thunk about that, and
>
> I guess the only answer can be twelve."
>
>
> Astounded, St. Peter said,
>
> "Twelve? Twelve?
>
> Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds
> in a year?"
>
>
> Forrest replied,
>
> "Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
>
> January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ... "
>
>
> "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter.
>
> "I see where you are going with this, and
>
> I see your point,
>
> though that was not quite what I had in mind ... but
>
> I will have to give you credit for that one, too.
>
> Let us go on with the third and final question.
>
> Can you tell me God's first name"?
>
>
> "Sure," Forrest replied,
>
> "it's Andy."
>
>
> "Andy?"
>
> exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
>
> "Ok, I can understand how you
>
> came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in
> the world did you come up with the name
>
> Andy as the first name of God?"
>
>
> "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,"
>
> Forrest replied.
>
> "I learnt it from the song,
>
> 'ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
>
> ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
>
> ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' "
>
>
> St.Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:
>
> "Run Forrest, run!"
>
>
>
>
> Give me a sense of humor, Lord..
>
> Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
>
> To get some humor out of life,
>
> And to pass it on to other folks