Tina's blog: "FOR EVERYONE"

Dear Santa, I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone. On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family. Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet. Yours Always, MOM... P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Got my mother's eyes and my father's hair. Does anybody really care? It's gettin' cold out here. Well, I keep walkin' with my head held high, with my head to the sky, with my mother's eyes. And my mother's eyes are with me in the darkness that's been paid for. I'm just a nameless stranger, don't know why. Have I seen all that I could? Have I seen more than I should with my mother's eyes? And my mother's eyes are with me in the chilly winds of autumn. If I ain't here by winter, she'll know why. I've seen all that I dare. I've seen more than my share. Forgive me if I stare with my mother's eyes.

Pretending to be your call-girl one night, I come around looking just right, To your front door in my spike-healed boots, Anxious to see if the outfit suits. Taking your time as not to tear paper, You lift my skirt then say "wait here." On go the lights of the Christmas tree, Back you come to unwrapping me. Tripping towards the window chair, Cars driving by catch a stare, At you parting my thighs wide with your knees, Me arching back with a need to please. Down before me then you drop, All hurriedness seems to stop, Tracing edges with your nose, Savoring fragrance, eyes sweetly closed. And on my mouth there forms a grin, Petals caressed with bare chin, Sighing resumes, as you lick with leisure, A cone full of your favorite flavor. Not content with petting for long, Like a cat the urge too strong, Purring starts a reverie, Lips melting with sweet honey. Fingers used to stir the flow, Knowing you like watching the show, And to your mouth is offered a taste, Not one drop let go to waste. Whispering, "tell me what you need," No more time for play I plead, "I will do anything you ask, Fulfilling your fantasy my only task."

1)Be present 2)Listen 3)Tell the truth 4)Release attachment to the outcome Explanation: 1)To be present you must show up. You must be willing to participate in the solution. 2)To listen is to HEAR what is being said by the other person. If you are too busy thinking about what you think you need to say next, in order to make things go your way, you are not listening. You are only paying attention to your own thoughts. You are not being present, and are not participating in the solution. 3)To tell the truth is to communicate how you REALLY feel at a heart (soul) level, regardless of what may or may not happen. The truth will set you free. 4)If you are attached to the outcome, you will not be capable of doing 1-3. Attachment is selfishness, not love. Love is acceptance and allowance of the other person to be who they really are, and to do what they feel is right for them at a heart level. After all, isn't that what you want from them in return, the freedom to be who you are, and to be accepted unconditionally? You must give that which you wish to receive. Don't you want someone to be present, to listen, and to tell you the truth no matter what, to accept your decision, even if it's not what they want from you?

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself. To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies. To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality. To let go is not to deny, but to accept. To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be. To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future

You were my knight in shining armor the hand that wiped my tears my one and only lover the light that eased my fears. You held my hand told me I was beautiful my heart was convinced we had something meaningful. The first day I met you I never thought we'd be together and in the end I was right wasn't I? But meanwhile however... You held me close promised you'd never let me go you kissed me sweetly soft and slow. Everything was beautiful all the world was right and I dreamt of you all through the night. But like I said before in the end I was right we're not together and I have nightmares at night. The way you treated me boy you treated me so bad But everyone knew dumping you was right all you did was make me sad. And I've let go of you by now it's obvious to see but boy you better hurry up with letting go of me.

I say to myself Self, why are you awake again? It's one a.m. Standing with the fridge wide open, staring Such a sight, florescent light The stars are bright Might make a wish, if I believed in that shit but As it is, I might watch TV Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me I say to myself, as I smile at the wall, just let myself fall It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see It's gonna be alright, cause I'm alright with me It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be I shiver, shut the door Can't think standing here no more I'm alone, my mine's racing, heart breaking Can you be everything I need you to be? Can you protect me like a daughter? Can you love me like a father? Can you drink me like water? Say I'm like the desert, Just Way Hotter. The point of it all Is that if I should fall Still you're name I'll call It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see It's gonna be OK, cause I'm OK with me It's gonna be, it's gonna be As long as we laugh out loud Laugh like we're mad Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch God, but still we laugh Get back in bed, turn off the TV You say "I'll be alright baby, just wait and see." It's gonna be all right, it's gonna be okay It's gonna be all right, just wait and see Its gonna be all right, no matter what they say Its gonna be a good day, just wait, just see It's gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be okay... Uh oh, awake again It's one A.M. Staring Such a sight Well, at least the stars are bright

i been sittin' here staring at the clock on the wall and i been layin here praying praying she won't call it's just another call from home and you'll get it and be gone and i'll be crying and i'll be beggin you baby beg you not to leave but i'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve oh for the next time we'll be here seems like a million years and i think i'm dying what do i have to do to make you see she can't love you like me why dont you stay im down on my knees im so tired of being lonely don't i give you what you need when she calls you will go there is one thing you should know we dont have to live this way baby why dont you stay you keep telling me baby there will come a time when you will leave her arms and forever be in mine but i don't think that's the truth and i don't like being used and i'm tired of waiting it's too much pain to have to bare to love a man you have to share why dont you stay im down on my knees im so tired of being lonely don't i give you what you need when she calls you will go there is one thing you should know we dont have to live this way baby why dont you stay i can't take it any longer but my will is getting stronger and i think i know just what i have to do i can't waste another minute after all that i've put in it i've given you my best why does she get the best of you so the next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine why dont you stay im up off my knees im so tired of being lonely you cant give me what i need when she begs you not to go there is one thing you should know i dont have to live this way baby why dont you stay

I get really sick and tired of boys up in my face Pick up lines like "What's your sign" won't get you anyplace When me and all my girls go walking down the street It seems we can't go anywhere without a car that goes "Beep-beep" Cuz this body is a priceless piece of lovin' unconditionally So, Mr. Big-stuff, who you think you are? You was thinkin' you's gonna get it for free Now, now, now, Hey ladies Let 'em know it ain't easy R-E-S-P-E-C-T Let's come togeta' Sista's Its time to be greedy Nothin' good comes for free Mirror on the wall, damn I sure look fine I can't blame those horny boys, I would make me mine When I pass you in a club, "Ooh, lala!" you gasp Back up boy, I ain't your toy, or your piece of ass Cuz this body is a priceless piece of lovin' unconditionally So, Mr. Big-stuff, who you think you are? You was thinkin' you's gonna get it for free Now, now, now No jealousy, no envy girls, c'mon, let's work it out No freebies in the limousine, that's not what its about Let 'em know there's work to do, give it up he won't call you Respect is just a minimum, go on girl and get you some

Many people who are being abused do not see themselves as victims. Also, abusers do not see themselves as being abusive. People often think of domestic violence as physical violence, such as hitting. However, domestic violence takes other forms, such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse. Domestic violence is about one person in a relationship using a pattern of behaviors to control the other person. It can happen to people who are married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated, or dating. If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to control you; pushing, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, or biting threatening you, your children, other family members or pets threatening suicide to get you to do something using or threatening to use a weapon against you keeping or taking your paycheck puts you down or makes you feel bad forcing you to have sex or to do sexual acts you do not want or like keeping you from seeing your friends, family or from going to work YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED!! Remember threatened or actual physical violence may be illegal. Consider calling the police for help