- A day without sunshine is like. . . night.
- He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
- Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
- How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
- OK . . . so what's the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened?
- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Life is more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
