I find myself as an adult thinking about those things little things really that i was and will be denyed because of not having a father. Now I know everyone has a father, I do. But long ago he partly choose not to be and partly the state decided that he was unfit to be my father. I won't go into what happened that caused that descion but I have not and will prob. never forgive any of the three people involved in forcing the state to make that descion.
Anyways because of all of that in which I was unable to control (i was 1) I lost the chances of taking a dad to father daughter dances, won't have a father to walk me down the isle, or give me away, or have a father daughter dance at my wedding. I never had a father to show me what a good male role model is, never had one to look at and say that's what i want my husband to be like. It hurts not having that...
If your a father out there and reading this make sure you take care of your kids the best you possibly can. And if you've already walked/lost your kids do whatever it takes to make amends to just walk away and never look back.
I know that it was the best thing for me when the state took his custody away and I am thankful that the system worked and I succeed in life. But he did just walk away and never look back... my family has lived in the same house since before I was born he could have tried especially once I turned 18...Now I know I wouldn't be able or much less really want to meet him. But it would have been nice to have been wanted.
