WHY DID YOU RATE ME 10 WHEN YOU GOT 500 FREE 11"S TODAY

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I WONT BE HOLDIN ME BREATHLittle Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic."Why?" asks the father."The teacher asked me, 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said"6", replies Tony."But that's right!" says his dad."Yeah, but then she asked me"How much is 3 x 2?""What's the fucking difference?" asks the father."That's what I said!"

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says,"Sign me up."Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but, he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker,"How much for some pussy?"The hooker says,"Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and show places?""Damn!" the guy says, in awe,"You own the whole city?"No," the hooker replies,"but I would if I had a pussy."

The HookerA guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout-looking Vegas hooker catches his eye.He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker,"How much do you charge?"Hooker replies,"It starts at $500 for a hand-job."Guy says,"$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap, no hand-job is worth that kind of money!"The hooker says,"Do you see that Denny's on the corner?""Yes"."Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?""Yes.""And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?""Yes.""Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly,"I own those. And, own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."Guy says,"What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."They retire to a nearby motel.A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says,"I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"The hooker replies,"$1,500.""I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"The hooker replies,"Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."

A new US Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Iraq desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there."Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sometimes the men have"urges". That's why we have the Molly The Camel."The Captain says,"I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about"urges". The camel can stay."About a month later, the Captain starts having his own"urges" and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane s*x with Molly.When he's done, he asks the First Sergeant,"Is that how the men do it?"No not really, sir..."They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are".