Crimson Blood Rose DDR EnforcerGreeter's blog: "Everyday life"

Tonight it was pointed out to me about how I can't keep a man in my life. Someone else told me I should not play into what the other person told me but how can I not when it is the truth. Every man I have ever been with say for my x-hubby has left me for another woman. I left the x-hubby because the fact of the abuse I put up with for 7 years. It seems like every time I get someone decent in my life they leave me for another woman. I am getting to the point of giving up on it all. I always give all myself into the relationships I have but yet it seems there should be more I should give. If I did they wouldn't leave would they? Or would they because I am giving too much? It is hard not to play into it because it hurts more then anything to know that no matter what I do or say I still have yet to find true unconditional love. It hurts to hear the truth for what it is.

Are we in the shadows of another's dream living the life they are dreaming about or is it that we are the dreamer of another's life? I have to ask myself that or something to that effect more each day I wake up from the nightmares. Is this another's reality or is this the life I really am to lead on a sub-consciouses level. This morning I woke up in sever pain as my dream became my reality. I was being chased from something and was shot in the leg for some reason I really can't remember right now. When I woke up in the spot I had been shot in the dream I had a Charlie horse so bad it had me in tears. Could a dream really manifest itself into the realm of reality? Why would it is it trying to tell me something I refuse to see in reality that my sub-consciouses mind had to tell me in this painful way? Dreams are the reality we refuse to live in a reality that does not believe in dreams.

Today is just another on of those days were yes I turn older but... nothing exciting happens. I turn a year older but I am still a year poorer. My cat blessing me with babies... but they will have to go when they are old enough... I have no friends where I live that celebrate the day with me and my family is too far away... So to be a birthday is just another day to push on for the next day... One day at a time.