Not asleep but not awake...
Your like a transparent scene laying over my reality..
As I walk through my day randomly
You showing up whenever you feel to.
I feel flush and my heart beats fast,
I feel a weight on my chest.
I cant breath and I sweat,
I loose time even though it passes by in slow motion.
I relive every second........ with you.
I used to fear you and when we would meet again,
When the next time you would show......
But now I have learned my strength and you how no hold on me..
Now its me who has control...
PTSD........ you are my best friend.
I expect you in my dreams, to wake me when I sleep.
I expect me when I'm out in town or walking down the street..
Or just in a store or alone just me....
I expect you to visit,
Unanounced..
What would I do without you......
PTSD your my best friend.
I would have my anxiety without you,
My panic attacks and the stress..
I wouldnt check my doors half as much ...
Or stay at home as often,
Dont forget antisocial....
Your have given me so many gifts and I have learned to cope with you.
I finally learned how to live and at least I'm not a mess.
I can not be ashamed by you I'm not emberassed ...
I can say it out loud.
I dont have to hide you I am who I am even when you are here...
even when you visit.............
I am me...... with PTSD.....
Titanium Butterfly