A DIVORCE LETTER...LMFAOOOOO
Body: Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good husband to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of
silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight
to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore, you don't want sex anymore, or anything. Either you're
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I'm
gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla and I are moving away to
West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear EX-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good husband
is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't
work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing
that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" But my mother raised
me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you
cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you
when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on
them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning ... And your silk boxers were
$49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I
got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I
hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that
with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take
care.
Your EX-Wife – Rich as Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but Carla, my sister, was
born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
Luv ya,
Sharon
