Hi An Addict Name CARLTON
I am at it again, still an addict, just not addicted 2 the substance today, but I still carry the disease which many of us do, but don’t even have clue what it is that fucked with us and demand we use even when we don’t want 2. I myself learned how 2 deal with it, pray, go 2 meetings and don’t pick up. Plus, I stop hanging with them mutha fuckas, who English and comprehension haven’t yet caught up with grade schoolers. Cuz, if them bitches can’t understand what the fuck I’m sayin when I say no, I don’t want 2 violate one of the principals or traditions and bang them in the mouth and go 2 jail in recovery, so avoid them bitches. Stop eatin where u shit, it is unhealthy no matter how much u doctorer it up.
My drama started back when I was just coming into the existence with high school. I was runnin with a mad house of gangstas, not like no Al Capone or Scarface, but some real gangbangin mutha fuckas, I should know they tried 2 kill me eventually and I was one of the lieutenants. Anyway I took part in the muscles side of the business, which lead 2 some serious court drama, it wasn’t no Mathis, Brown, and Penny, I wish. Now I got an addicts behavior and I wasn’t even using nothing at the time, just the pour thought of the power a drug gang provided got me high. Anyway the judge handed me seven years 4 extortion, conspiracy 4 some of this, that, and most 4 being me. I was considered a menace 2 society and advise after I get my GED, I should just vacate the city, Yes, I was THROWN the Fuck Out of New York FUCKIN CITY. After I didn’t comply with some of the details of my charges, so I wouldn’t do that time on the island, I packed up and jetted 2 B-MORE CAREFUL. I should have been cuz, that is where I decided 2 write my drug epic starring Carlton aka Sharief , The Suit, Terminator, Hustla, Big Unc, finally betta known as Crack Head.
The worst thing about Baltimore, I didn’t fly over it or drive around it. My fault, cuz down there they had the handbook and requirements on how 2 b an addict just waiting 4 my arrival.
When I started takin shit, it was Cocaine, why because it was all I knew, I watched my family get destroyed by this mother fucker. Shit Shirley was vicious and I married her ass in a hurry. I divorced her, cause she was startin 2 fuck with me, she tried 2 kill me, or I should say I OD-ed. I thought I was sleep, well when I woke up I knew the dream was actually death. I proceed 2 keep tryin 2 unsuccessful kill myself 4 many more years with her. Then she got 2 the point she was borin me. I thought I could fuck with weed, but only 2 find out I was only makin another reservation 2 go fuck with the coke again. This time I was still married 2 this bitch, divorce shit, that bitch new I would kill myself cuz I wouldn’t let her go. I was really caught up like this fuckin drug was a whore or one of my bitches. The role really was reserve. She told me I better not fuck around on her or the results would b wrost and they were. I started fuckin around with here sister, CRACK. Once I pulled that BITCH, draws down and sucked on that pussy, she, who I blame, started getting me locked up, losing shit, I had accumulate because remember I was sellin drugs all my life in Baltimore, even when I had a job, with the two stash apartments and house 4 a front. Cars I never even fuckin drove, I am 40 with no license, but kept a fuckin car. I drove more cars on video games. I was certified with a lot of skills and business, but I couldn’t stop mindin my Cracked up, Insane, Self Centered, Close Minded self, cuz I might miss my opportunity 2 get high.
Me and Crack was like shit and flour, if it was white, rocky and could smoke up I wanted that shit up in my ass. I would geek until I had 2 laugh at myself. I really was laughin because the dumd shit I did with the coke was nothing compared 2 what I was doin with the crack. I was out of control and no one who did this shit could deny they wasn’t down on the floor, in the closet, in the middle of day, sun out, and of all things u got a mutha fuckin a flash light like the cops looking 4 nothing. Cuz 10 times of 10 where I was lookin I wasn’t even over there. Now that is some insane funny fucked up shit.
I learned quick how 2 deal with this monster after 7 years of usin or practicing because as quick as that high last, I might as well not. I guess I was more intrigue with the getting and the results of how much or longer I could geek, how ridiculous I could look.
I can honestly stay that shit will 2 rob u and have u from runnin crack house (which is a place where people gather 2 smoke crack, it could an vacant house or mansion, but sooner or later u might have 2 move into them. Bills go from being paid 2 people name bill who just want 2 have some place 2 get high. Those I sold that poison 2 I assumed I or I said, I would b like them. Little did I know would b in a 12 step program telling u my story. Everybody get a turn, just wait ur turn. I have more stories then the bible cuz I choose 2 live like this. There is help out there, just start with admittin u r an addict and open ur mind along with ur mouth when u ask 4 this help.
This is just brief of what is comin the 12 step website I am constructin.
