sexidevilbitch69's blog: ""CONFLICTION""

Sometimes life is full of twists and turns, always seeming as if everything burns. Why does it seem as if the Lord makes us pay tolls, or maybe it's the devil taking our soul? Who the hell am I to judge or question, but why can't I just once make a suggestion? Get along, love, trust and believe, It's not that hard a concept to conceive. Put yourself forward and take a stand, or if you need to, just ask for a hand. If thought about, it's not at all that hard, Just pull your head out of your ass, don't be a retard. Life does have tons of twists and turns, It'll be alright,if we realize: It's All it concerns. BL 12/17/05

I have black lights and candles glowing, to try and recreate the love growing. Even cooking, and drinking all the beer, has me feeling yet another tear. I sit here thinking, up all night, all upset and feeling uptight. All my wants, dreams and needs, seem like just a bunch of little seeds. Seeds that need my true love, the one more precious than life above. No matter what tough times bring, my heart is filled with love that sings. So much love and definitely pure, I thought we'd be together for sure. I It's you baby,I write this letter to, without you here, I feel so blue. i close my eyes and you're in my dreams, but when I awake, I"m torn at the seams. All this sweetheart, sure breaks my heart, I tried to tell you I liked you right from the start. People never wanted to believe we'd make it, It's come to this; I don't give a shit! You're the one I truly love, I'll tell everyone below, between and up above. BL 11/25/05

I see the pain and misery, that everyone is going through. The pain of a broken heart, and the misery of the scars of a great loss. I feel the pain and misery, just the same as everyone else does. For I too, am going through it. I gave my heart away, just to have it thrown away, like the evening paper (received,used & tossed) I fear the pain and misery, that we're all going through. I can't help wondering, Will we get past this? Will we survive? (when) Somehow, someday it'll all be better, I have to believe it's true because, I don't want to see, nor feel, nor fear, All the pain and misery no more. BL 6/9/94

I sometimes wonder why peolpe are the way they are, I try to be nice and I try to make friends, But all I ever get is rejection every time. Whether it be love or friendship that I seek, It never seems to happen--not for me at least. I sit and I wonder, If I'll ever truly be happy, Or will I walk around in this state I'm in, For the rest of my days? I wonder what is wrong with me, that no one wants to be with me. Whether it's love or just friendship, I can't ever find. My heart is so caring--and definitely pure. So what is so wrong with me, that it can"t ever work? It hurts me so deeply--but theres no one there to care, But if my roles were reversed I'd still be there. Why must people be so cruel and unkind? maybe cuz theyve been hurt, but I have been too. Is it really to much to ask, for a true love or true friend, that I may call mine? BL 03/19/94

I've had enough of these fights, That we so often have. I've had enough of neglect, and I cant take any more. I've had enough sleepless nights, Wondering if you love me or not. I've had enough silent treatments, Might as well be alone. I've had enough falling tears, To last a whole lifetime. Enough is enough, And I've finally had enough!!! The one thing I never did get enough of, Was the love I wanted from you. I've been so very miserable, But I won't be anymore, "Cuz I've finally HAD ENOUGH!! BL

for all my old friends..and my new ones too, just remember ive always tried to be so true. ive hurt alot of people,including myself,& kids, but i wont anymore cuz im calling it quits. im dying inside and none can help, im putting all my love up on the shelf. its up for grabs for anyone to take, cuz now im gone & noone can wake. the hurt, pain and all the misery, cant anyone really see. im leaving now and think itll be better, take my life and put it in the shredder. ill miss some that have no clue i will, then others that will love me still. my best to all of you,near and dear or not... but my hearts & my loved ones will not deal with anymore knots. BL 6/15/06

"confliction" sometimes it feels as life is short.... sometimes life feels, oh so long. i just wanna give up, but yet gotta be so strong. give me the gun, give me the knife, but yet i'll do nothing and take life in strife. i want to live, i want to die...... someone please let me reach the sky. i live and breathe, but inside i seethe. someone help before i freeze. give me the strength to keep goin, and let my heart keep gowin. BRENDA LEE