I'm jus sayin....
Now on to the entry….
In all my years of dating, I've never had a woman cook for me. Like, nebba ebba.
Isn't that sad??
Cooking for someone is one of the most romantic things one can do and something I've done countless numbers of times for women I was interested in.......Yet, no one has ever done it for me — well, ok, there have been a couple, but they don't really count.......they were mainly jump offs.....
But let many of the women I've met tell it, they can "burn."
… yeah, down the house maybe… like Talking Heads.
So you can cook huh?..... And you know Top Ramen don't count, right??!?
Then let a brutha get some mac'n'cheese! Shyt, crockpot up some neckbones! ....not really (I dont eat pork)
I'm beginning to believe that women in this country no longer realize the significance of dating and a good home-cooked meal.
For shame!
Its a well established fact that women born after 1975 cant cook for sheeyit.
Used to be that wimen folk took pride in their domestic skills and how they could take care of home.
Now they revel in the fact that they know how to order out and call Rosa in to spruce up every now and then.
The Diva attitude has infiltrated the mainstream and its cost me several missing lbs from my statuesque frame....
I'm jus sayin....
But I guess that's what we men get for settling for azz and a couple compliments.
But do not fret.......after reading an article this week, there are still women that take pride in making their man a meal in the early stages of courtship.....
But umm, these muhfukkas be takin' shyt too far….
So I happened across this article this weekend talking about how some women of Guinea-Bissau get their man.....
It goes something like this: a girl prepares a dish for the boy that's caught her eye......
It's a meal of fish marinated according to an ancient recipe.....The girl brings the prepared dish to the boy, and as soon as he bites it, the two are engaged.
*blank stare*
Like, engagement… not like evite, but like duhn-duhn-dundun. "She's your queen to be" and all that!
for real....here is the article.....
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/02/01/guinea.marriage.ap/index.html
Now, I've heard that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but this shyt is ridiculous!
Let me back up… 'cause I know some of ya'll are slow… Guinea-Bissau, it's in Africa....
The place where this happens is an island off the country called Orango Island...... A lot of Black folks in the Carribean, South America, and North America probably have ancestors from here as it was a huge slave trading post back in the day.
All this to say that it probably ain't a coincidence that your grandma's catfish is the best you've ever had.
The society on this island is quite interesting..... It's a matrilineal society, which basically means that it's the men hyphenating their last names when they get married. LOL
Not only that......but once dudes eats the fish — which he can't deny without dishonoring himself — the woman builds the grass huts the family is to live in and it's basically her responsibility to set up shop and set the scene for marriage all by herself.
The article talks about how some of the men are influenced by Western ways and try to chase the woman the way we're used to things happening here…. but ummm…. that shyt is a no-go, bro......... The homeys don't play that.
I'm not sure how I'd feel about this if this were the case in the States.......... Actually, 'das a lie......... I DO know how I'd feel about it… I'd hate the shyt!!
Not being able to choose my wife?!?....... Not being able to turn down a marriage request?!?....... Just the act of taking a bite means acceptance and denying it means family dishonor?!?!?
That shyt is like decaffinated oolong…. not my cup of tea.
If that were the case, I'd be a helluva polygamist.....
Shyt, I'd be married to a whole bunch of folks!
Betty Crocker...... Sara Lee.,,,,,, Aunt Jemima.......
And in some states, they'd have my azz married to Chef Boyardee and Uncle Ben, too! .......And fukk being married to an Uncle Ben — that man is niggra strong!
He may not be able to bench press a lot, but he's got that country strength — that knock-a-cow-out type strength.
I ain't tryin' to get wrestled down and forced some of his "San Francisco treat!"
If this happened in the States, what food would Black women make??
It damned sure wouldn't be the steamed fish in red palm oil that's prepared in Guinea-Bissau — you know Black folks don't steam nothin' but clothes with that broke-azz iron.
Fried chicken is too obvious a choice......plus it's pretty damn easy to make with the proliferation of Fry Daddys and whatnot.
Oooo, I know! I've got it!
Sweet potato pie.
That will damn sure show some skills.
'Cause not everyone can make a good sweet potato pie.
Anyways....
The thing that chafes my azz is that after the bite.......you're engaged.
Not after you eat it...... after you BITE it.......WTF????
The shyt could be nasty as hell..... but Negro....... you BIT it, therefore you've accepted the proposal........ So the woman doesn't really have to know how to cook....... She just has to put some shyt on a plate and bring it over and your azz is got.
That's just crazy........At least be able to taste and swallow the shyt before the engagement is set!
Fish tastes like curried butthole and now I got to marry that?!?
That's just unpretty.
But the part that I really wouldn't like is that the fugliest heffa can roll right up on you.......and ain't a damn thing you can do about it!
Shyt........ I'd be hiding when I saw her coming down the street with a sweet potato pie.
I'd be quiet as a mouse an' shyt like the Jehovah's Witness was at the door! LOL
I could see it now, looking through the blinds: "Awww HELL!! Here come ugly azz Tasha and her fukked up pie!" LMAO
I'd answer the door in afro wig and some Ray-Bans:
"Who Kav?.......Nah, that nygga moved....... Me??..... Pie??..... Nah gal......my suga low.".....you know....diabetes and shyt.....
You know the foolproof way out of it though, right?
Whether it be fish or pie… all you have to do is take a bite and say......."that ain't fish.....
"I don't know what kind of meat it is, but it ain't fuggin fish."
Or, you could just be a vegetarian until the fine girl comes-a-knockin....... And who cares if the fine girl can't cook?
I mean, her fish may taste horrible, but… I mean… she's fine.
Who cares if her red palm oil fish is good if that pink snapper is fresh?!?
Flag on the play!
LOL Ok, that last comment was unnecessary.
But I'd still say I'd rather have a fine woman who can't cook than an ungly one who can.
'Cause, like, some Texas Pete can help her fish…. can't shyt help ugly.
At any rate........ while I think the culture and approach to courtship is interesting........ I like the way we do it out here. Man courts woman...... That's the way it should be.
Though, I guess no matter who chases who, one thing remains constant: men gotta eat the fish.
that is all....
