blazequal's blog: "blazequal"

Okay, so here's the deal. I decided when I got laid off that I would become a chemist of sorts. It didn't turn out well and I'm not going to glorify or get down on it either. It was a decision I made and I can't nor would I change it. Sometimes you just have to get it on and that's what I did, For those of you who are understanding where I'm going with this; yeah I'm a cook. For the closed minded I suppose by todays standards I am now considered a terrorist, whatever.........

I have done my time, I paid my debt to society and have been clean for over two years. The real deal is I'm no longer here to many people I thougth were friends let alone my family. I'm not sure how to overcome this. Getting a job after leaving prison with a manufacturing charge is next to impossible. I ran restaurants, I have over ten years experience as a General Mgr, I raised three great kids as a single father, A and B students, well adjusted, smart, polite,  kids. Yet now I walk alone in this world. Sometimes I think my shadow would pack it in and leave if given the chance. Out of place and in another dimension where I don't get high, I'm not sure how the rest of the world lives. Somehow I am seethrough, hollowand determined.

I walk around looking for the Delorean that will hit 88 miles an hour and help me change things so that I will become visible in this polaroid world I seem to have disappeared from.  

Sometimes I feel like I am back in high school while I'm here. Beautiful women everywhere, games to play, and everynow and again I actually meet someone I wouldn't mind getting to know. I have always been a loner, so I don't really play to be the most popular fu. I do my own thing and don't worry about the results. 

There are many times I'm left thinking WTF, as I wander around in fu land. Someone "likes" me, so I go and check them out. I find hundreds of pics of themselves in every pose imaginable. Wearing next to nothing, and in provcative poses many times. This is obviously not everyone on here, so if you take offense...... if the shoe fits? You know who you are. Don't get mad at me for calling you on it. Anyway, I love the female form and I'm going to look if they are available. Then I will check out what they have to say about themselves. ( Yes, I really read them. ) I'm hoping to find an intelligent person with a strange sense of humor like mine. What I seem to find most of the time is some rant that leaves me feeling like a pervert and I haven't even done anything yet! 

WTF! Really......? Are they such narcissists that all those photo's are so they can log on and look at themselves? If they walk by any reflective surface can it be passed without checking themselves out? I get the feeling that if I and one of these members were at a lake and I commented on it's beauty they would be looking at their own reflection on the surface and agree that it is beautiful. ( thinking to themselves, " it is now that I'm part of it". )  Or maybe these fu's really are posting their own pics and then get mad when someone checks them out and wants more. A person makes their own bed, then gets mad at others for having to lie in it. Either way just leaves me confused and I usually just leave with the intention of not returning.

So that's my contribution to the blogsphere. I don't ask for the NSFW pics or cams or any of that stuff. Anyone who has had contact with me knows this is true. So to those who are wearing my blog shoe now. Don't you dare leave some nasty comment. I don't want any more contact with you. I wrote this so I could read it, I won't answer any replies. THE ANSWER IS NO!   Just because I'm dressed like a blogger does not make me one. I'm just sayin'......................

That is the question. Well not for me, I know the answer. Funny thing is there are still plenty of people who don't smoke or won't smoke all for various reasons. As the great comedian Bill Hicks suggested, I've got something to tell all the people who don't smoke. It's a revelation, so maybe you should sit down. OK, here goes: Non-smokers Die Everyday. So leave me alone, I'm going to do as I please anyway. I don't bother you for being an idiot, so don't f*ck with me.  

Life has a way of just ripping me apart. I just love this shit! You ever find someone you are sure is perfect for you and they are taken by another. Taken by another who is an absolute monster. Treats them terrible and yet they run back with their tail tucked between their legs like a homeless curr dog. I genuinely just don't like most people. Everyone is so superficial, trying to conform or please the majority, that I just cannot deal with the average person for very long. Then along comes someone I actually like being around. We can laugh at the same morbid or tastelesss jokes. Yeah whatever you don't know me, Get wild on everything under the sun and not have to explain or feel guilty about our sinful pleasures. I want life to be real with my next ex-wife, ya know? Nothing lasts forever, everything degenerates or decomposes with time. Some say there is someone for everyone we just have to find them. What I want to know is: Where the fuck are you chic? Is there really anybody out there? The truth does not exist, and we are all just imaginations of ourselves moving in a slow vibration. 

I hate dry days, a day without a buzz is a day that never was.

Up all night, playing on the web, feeding habits and my newest addiction to just being online. I have too many to keep track of them all, then start staying up all night twisting everything from a coherant view. Spun out and unable to stop. I am definitely my own worst enemy. Sometimes you just got to say fu it and stick a dollar into the salvation army bucket, if you know where I'm coming from please tell me. You can pick your friends and you could pick your nose, bujt you can't wipe your friends on the living room couch. Authored by a friend on acid in95

The thing that really grinds my gears is, women! Confusing lot of creatures. To catch one you must be indifferent to them.Act lioke you are not interested and they will come back to you.  Make the mistake of showing affection and heaven forbids it. After people get together though , this where the woman nsays you never pay attention to me, yet thats how it started.

Thisty? Me too, Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll have another shot of crown and a huge blunt. Smoke down everyone and consider the following "Whirrled Peas". Seems like an impossible task, yet I think everyone can do it. I need a drink after all the effort i put into that deep thought , well what are ya waitin for? Until next time......