I came home from work one bright, sunny day,
And looked out the window, saw the rugrats at play.
I glanced at the table, upon which a book,
Lay open. I grabbed it and gave it a look.
The bright colored pictures, my son had, you could tell,
Looked at it, and wondered, in his way, what the hell,
Are all these strange symbols and letters about?
This is not like the magazines my old man leaves out.
I looked at it closely and it went down the list.
"A is for apples", the other letters like this.
I started to thinking about the best chuckle yet.
It's time to write down The Biker's Alphabet.
A is for Assholes, you dodge on the street.
B is for Bitches, they're looking so sweet.
C is for Chrome, the Biker's sunshine of life.
D is for Dancers, your M/C bro's wife.
E is for Evo, the new special breed.
F is for Fatboy, built low for great speed.
G is for Glide, Wide, Electra and Dyna.
H is for Harley, that hot steel vagina.
I is for Iso, the pegs for your scoot.
J is for Jerk Offs, you give them your boot.
K is for K Model, bike of yesteryear.
L is for Liquor, the booze and the beer.
M is for Money, to go party in town.
N is for (K)'Nuckles, used to (k)'nock assholes down.
O is for Old Lady, who sweetens your bed.
P is for Pussy, no more need be said.
Q is for Quick, it's how you getaway.
R is for Roadrash, let's hope none today.
S is for Softail, the bike slung so low.
T is for Tires, they make your bike go.
U is for Up Yours, you say to some jerk.
V is for V-Twin, that rolling artwork.
W is for Wide Glide, that beefy front end.
X is for X-Ray, for when you're on the mend.
Y is for Young Bimbos, that ride on your scoot.
Z is for Zero, like when you're out of loot.
There's no school to list them, Noone who will teach,
Except for your Bro's when you''re riding, You're in reach,
Of life's greatest treasures, the great open road.
The lesson is learned without nary a goad.
It's life's greatest classroom, have you guessed it yet?
It's your dreams, as they're spelled out, The Biker's Alphabet.
Copyright 2002 Bruce "Bulldog" Dowling
