PEEPIN TOM's blog: "Are you looking for a "GOOD" friend?"

I had to steal this from a friend! So fucking funny! Mr. And Mrs. Allison are retired, and Mrs. Allison insists her Husband go with her to Walmart, but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Allison loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to Mrs. Allison: Dear Mrs. Allison, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a Commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban Both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our Video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Allison are Listed below. Things Mr. Bill Allison has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's Carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor lea ding to the Restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... And watched what happened. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's On layaway. 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted Area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told Other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding Department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to Cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as aMirror, and picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked The clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his Madonna look Using different size funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, Yelled PICK ME PICK ME 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he Assumes the fetal position and screams NO NO It's those voices again And last, but not least ...... 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited Awhile,then yelled very loudly, There is no toilet paper in here Regards, Wal-Mart

37 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME! 1) People that put the toilet paper under, rather than over the roll. 2) Dishwashers that are loaded incorrectly. 3) Automatic toilets that flush the sanitary bowl paper before you get the chance to sit on it. 4) Drivers who refuse to use blinkers until they start making the turn. 5) People who complain about smokers, although they used to smoke themselves. 6) Back seat drivers. 7) Side seat drivers. 8) People who can’t shut up long enough to breathe. 9) Parents who continue to try and run your life even though you’re 38 years old. 10) Banks who have banker’s hours. 11) Women who look like murals. 12) Men who look like murals. 13) Squirrels that make it across the street. Then see you coming and decide the grass really was greener on the other side. 14) Construction on every single road I decide to travel that day. 15) Large crowds. 16) Amusement parks. 17) Pennsylvania Dutch country. 18) People who pretend to be someone they’re not! 19) People who go to events in groups just to socialized, not for the thrill of the actual event. 20) When you pull into a gas station run by non-English speaking attendants, and you ask them for five dollars in gas. Then when they’re on their phones talking to friends back in their country, and the pump ends up filling to eight dollars, then they say that that was the amount you asked for. 21) My Boss. 22) My Body. 23) Convenient stores that aren’t convenient, just high priced! 24) Pierced tongues. 25) Children that talk too much. (like my son). 26) Dogs that bite. 27) Girls that won’t. 28) Weeds. (not all weeds) 29) Reruns of Cheers. 30) Reruns of Frazer. 31) Women that want to dress you to their standards! 32) Women that don’t want to undress you. 33) Little asses. 34) Bees and Dragon flies. 35) Old people with new sports cars. 36) Going fishing with my brother-in-law and having him bitch about a little rain while wearing a little yellow poncho! GROW SOME BALLS! 37) Simple spelling and grammar mistakes! 38) Sayings like- It is what it is! - I see! - Whatever! I am just me!

We all enjoy the surveys we take in the bulletin section. I made a survey that the answers may really mean something. Things that you would really like to know about people who call you their friend. Be honest! If there is a question you do not want to answer, don't answer it. 1. What is your first name? Tom 2. What State or Country (Besides U.S.)do you live in? New Jersey 3. What State or Country (Besides the U.S.)were you born in? New Jersey 4. What kind of car do you drive? Ford Taurus & Nissan Maxima 5. Do you own your own home or rent? Own 6. Are you married, single or involved? Married 7. What do you do for a living? Entomologist. Pest Control & Wildlife Specialist 8. Do you have siblings? 2 sisters, 1 brother. 9. What is your favorite food? Corned beef and swiss on rye. 10. What is your favorite drink? Coffee 11. What do you like to do on the weekends? During the season I fish on my boat. Spend time with family. 12. What are some of your hobbies? Martial arts, fishing, watching sports and chick flicks, and playing on the computer. 13. Are you a saver or a spender? A spender. 14. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Owning my own Pest Control Company. 15. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A kind, loving, out of shape guy who needs to improve his appearance. 16. What characteristics in a person draws you to them? Eyes and a kind face. 17. What is your passion in life? To raise my son to be the man I had always hoped to be. Kind, giving, respectful and successful. 18. What makes you a good friend to have? I don't judge anyone and will always be reliable when called upon for any reason. 19. What is you favorite four movies -(1 romantic, 1 Drama, 1 Comedy, 1 Horror)? The Notebook, A Walk To Remember, Jaws, My Cousin Vinny. 20. What legacy would you like to leave behind? That I was a great husband and father!