angel hidden P Mm 862007's blog: "angel hiddens thoughts"

It has been 11 days now since i lost her .. some days are ok and some days are just bad .. at times i lay in bed trying to sleep but then my thoughts begin to wonder and ponder what she is doing .. i expect to hear my phone ring and hear her voice as i have so many times before , never failed i had heard from her at least 4 times a week. now i hear the silence of the night and the day. like Forest Gump would say .. * Life is like a box of chocolates , You never know what Your gonna get * .. this is so true because from one day to the next everything is so different that when you look back there was something and when you blink your eyes , it is gone .. i do not know how long this pain will continue but i will be strong and hold my head up and smile and show a happy look out side .. but deep within my soul i am bleeding and grieving . Someone told me that to give it a few months and it will be easier , but for some reason i doubt that it will .. You have 1 mother in a lifetime .. and once shes gone there is no other that can take her place. in a way i know how my niece feels about losing her mother , ( my sister ) .. but its not the total same .. i grew up with my mom .. she had to grow up without her. Maybe one day it will get easier , i do not know . Only God knows that answer , till then i can only take it a day at a time and look within and see how it goes .. Te Extrano Madre Mia .. Te Amo .....

I sit here in my moms room , looking around and when i hear a door i turn expecting to hear her voice or to see that smile that i remember so clearly , but it's not her. last night was one of the hardest nights of my life, was her Rosary. i never knew mom touched so many souls till last night. every row in the mortuary was full. with her dressed in a soft pink dress it was like she was only sleeping. Through out the readings and testemonios i expected her to sit up and say something , i do not know why but i did. Everything was so beautiful and perfect, i know she was happy and watching over all of us. I do not know what to expect today for today is the church mass for her then it is time to place her to rest .. i guess it hasn't totally hit me as of yet that she is gone. God i miss her voice , her holding me , her smile .. i still do not know how i am going to get through this , but take a day at a time and go from there. I am lucky to have such a loving family in real , and as well the support of freinds and family here in Fubar.. thank You all Mom, you will forever be in my heart , i love you so much that i cant breath at times just thinking your not here with me no more. we will see each other again one day , till then i know You are there with my babygirl watching over me .. Rest In Peace Madre Mia Te Amo , Te Adoro , Te Extrano.