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and they were all lies

I couldn’t ignore the pain any longer Life was just too much I never saw my life in future times Or happiness and love and such I’d been to the edge with the intent to jump And had become happy with thoughts of no pain Feeling my uselessness as an inherited curse I had nothing left to gain The sun failed to shine In my world overcast Birds no longer sang And the first had become the last All things good and whole Had turned and went their way They were never to return to me So I felt I should just go away Consumption by hate, to save was too late Where should I turn now? Why do I get kicked when I’m down? When could I be happy? Or even better, how? Fallen and fetal I will return to the dirt Bittersweet battle within No longer would I hurt Smiles soon faded And hearts followed to break As I cried out for help I cried in heaven’s sake Routinely I cried For a hand to reach to me I looked blankly at emptiness’ stare And closed my eyes reluctantly But I felt one more fight, a chance in me To save myself from isolation Piercing my lips were words of insignificance And the end to my frustration As time's hands moved on and on Together, as one, we grew Now solitary routine you seek You seek you never knew Tired of times we spend together Tired of me you grow Tired of being tired in time No feelings will you show But in time as your thoughts are even Will I be thought of only as your pawn And will you be happy or sad When I’m finally gone?
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