I'm a selfish prick. A mild mannered intellectual with all the answers and the charm to get me anywhere. I am the hot, fascinating man that you want to show off to your friends only because they hate me and you know it's because they're jealous you have me. I'm old enough to know what I want and young enough to try something new. I'll frustrate you and please you. I make my own rules and see what others miss.I am the reigning 2003-2007 disco marathon champion.You also might want to know that I am the real inventor of canned air.I was once mistaken for Jason Priestly, and a crazed fan made me an indecent proposal...that fan's name was Pete. I declined.About a year ago, while out at South Beach with my girlfriend at the time, we ended up seeing a snapping turtle laying there, turned over, on the beach. I walked over to help and it snapped at my hand and my girlfriend then yelled at me to "leave it alone, it's not worth it." Well, knowing better, I tried to get my hands behind it's head to turn it over. Once, I finally got the guy back on it's feet, sure enough he bit me and it wasn't pretty. Luckily, "E!" television was filming one of their 1,000 shows on beautiful people and the beach there. The girl who was hosting the show noticed what had happened and ran over like a ninja to see if I was alright. My ex took issue with the woman from the TV show expressing interest and tried to get her to leave. But she told me they had a trailer set up near the beach where they could get me fixed up, so I followed her to get my thumb taped up. All I can say is, that was the longest drive home in my life!If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this:I am a trophy boyfriend seeking an exotic dancer who knows every Beatles song by heart and will share afternoons at the library reading her horoscopes with me.