NJRebel's blog: "A Little About Me"

Here it is, February already. Been smoke free now since Nevember 2007. Amazing, huh? I can't believe it! Still crave one every now and then, but it passes rather quickly. My sister and I will comment on it and then kind of laugh about it and go on with whatever we were doing. February is a pretty big month for me. My son, my sister, two of my best friends all have birthdays in February and then there is Valentine's Day. Oh, and my dad and his brother have a birthday in February. Theirs is on the 8th. Everyone else I mentioned is on the 9th. So, Annie, Allen, Ed, and Jan.... Hope you all had a great birthday on the 9th. Dad and Uncle Jerry, hope yours was great on the 8th. This year I have reason to celebrate Valentine's Day. With the love of my life in my life, that is plenty of reason to celebrate. At least in my opinion it is. lol Although we'll be miles apart, I know we will both be in each other's thoughts all day, if not all month. lol I love him dearly and will miss him dearly on Valentine's Day as I won't be able to give him anything special like a hug or kiss. Oh well, though, right? There will be other holidays to celebrate together once we are together, right? I keep looking ahead to those times. I will try to make it back here on Valentine's Day to wish everyone a good one. Until then, everyone of you take care of yourselves and your loved ones. Brightest Blessings to all!

...that when you try to quit doing something, like smoking, everything aggravates you? That when you are aggravated, it seems everyone and everything around you is trying to aggravate you more? That the more aggravated you get, the more you want to take someone's head off? Anger begets violence? I can see why. Everyone in the house, all the adults that is, is trying to quit smoking. We've all taken our turns at different methods in order to try and quit without all the "pains" of withdrawal. All to no avail. What seems to work for one doesn't work for another and after awhile, seems to quit working for the one it WAS working on. Tried the gum, the lozenges, wellbutrin, chantix and now patches. None of it gets rid of the craving, has some serious side effects and does nothing for the "mood swings" you seem to get when you don't get that nicotine fix. My tongue is going to be really sore or gone by the time this is all said and done! I've been biting it for so long now in order to not bite someone's head off that I'm sure it's raw by now. At least I have my sense of humor. Doesn't do much for the others except maybe take their minds off their cravings for a moment or two. Sometimes, that's all you need is a moment or two and then the craving is gone and you can go on about your business. But it's all those moments in a day that get to you, all those moments when you want a cigarette. My sister said some years ago she ran across some places in the South that actually sold cigarettes singularily. That's a cool idea and I wish they did that everywhere! Sometimes, all you need is one to get you through the day. I suppose though, one can lead to two and then three and so on, but when you're trying to quit, one would do. I should do some research and find some herbs to help us cope. I'm sure there are some out there. We don't want something we have to smoke, I have those, but rather something you can make a tea out of or maybe even a capsule. I'm just too aggravated at the moment to any type of research. LOL Not to mention, I've got some homework I need to be doing and I can't concentrate on that right now either, which is also adding to my aggravation. I can't wait for all this to be done and over. Now is the time you wish you had never started smoking in the first place. Another aggravating thing....I had quit before for about 2-3 years and then started back up again. It was easier to quit that last time and I didn't have all these withdrawal symptoms. I don't know why either. I don't know what the difference is between then and now. I wish I did so I could repeat the procedure or process. Oh well, in a month all of this will be nothing more than a memory. I just hope the kids hold together better than we adults are. LOL As long as they remember the why, I'm sure they'll get through it just fine. So far, so good. Although I've been really good at not yelling at the kids, I sure have wanted to put a few things through the wall a time or two. LOL Ok, I'm done now, wish me luck!

Guess I just don't get it. What's with Fun & Games and the Bored? section if it's not for fun and games? What is honesty anyway and has it totally lost it's place in the cyberworld? Having just recently joined this site, I was checking out how it works and what all there is to do on here. To make points and "money" there are certain things you have to do. Seeing as how I don't join things that you have to pay for in order to get points and money for sites like this one I try to find the freebie way of doing things. Well, Fun & Games seemed to be the answer to that one. WRONG! Not only does it fault you if you go through them quickly, you get reamed by people you don't give a rating of 10. They then turn around and give not just your photo, but your profile a low rating like what you gave their photo. I rated quite a few photos last night after joining and made quite a few friends by doing so. I gave an honest rating based on my opinion of the photo. Was I not supposed to do it that way? One guy even has on his profile that because this site is free you should give everyone a 10 rating. WHAT? Why? Just because it's free I'm supposed to lie? That makes no sense to me. I didn't sign up on this site for porn or to find a date so why should I be sujected to it? Actually, I started feeling guilty and depressed after a couple of people "yelled" at me for giving their picture a lower rating than a 10. Again, I rated the picture, one picture, not the person or their profile and I get yelled at and then they immediately go and rate my picture (I only have one on here for now) AND my profile and usually comment something like "I'm doing to you what you did to me" kind of thing. I sent out a bunch of invites to my friends to join this site because I thought it might be fun. I like that you can buy your friends gifts, not just drinks (I'm not a drinker) and sit around and chat among other things. I am now seriously thinking this was a mistake and me and my friends would be better off somewhere else. Do I sound just like the rest of the people on here who retaliate with ratings? Boo-hoo, wasn't intentional but I guess if you hang around them long enough, they rub off on you. I think I'm done with my rant for now so I'll get off my soapbox and go find something else to do besides sit in here all day.

I just finished a really good book by Vila Spiderhawk, Hidden Passages: Tales to Honor the Crones. A fantastic book if I do say so myself. I had a hard time putting it down once I started reading it! There was so much wirtten in there that I could identify with that it was kind of spooky. Like she knew me inside and out. Maybe it's because I'm entering those Crone years that I was able to identify with so much in her book, I don't know, but I loved the book. Just this week, I started the process of enrolling in an online college so I could go back to college, finish my associate's degree and then go forward from there to go on and get my bachelor's degree. I'm so excited about going back to school! It won't be quite the same as walking on campus and being with all the other new students, but it will be exhillerating and I think, very worthwhile. The man in my life now is, I swear, my soulmate. He seems to know so much about me and I him that it too is kind of spooky. We are almost to the point where we could finish each others' sentences! LOL Of course, he knows me so well too because we spent quite a bit of time together as kids. He and his family lived two doors down from me and my family when we both lived in Fort Myers, Florida. He was my first boyfriend, the first boy I had ever kissed (or that had kissed me) and my first heart break even though I broke up with him. To find out about 30 years later that we both thought of the other, dreamt of each other, and still had feelings for each other was kind of uncanny, ironic and spooky, to say the least. So, now we are engaged, so to speak. Unfortunately, I'm in New Jersey and he is still in Florida. It won't be until at least January of 2008 that I will get to see him again, in person. A picture is nice, but the real thing is always better. Right? We will see how things go from there, but I'm sure wedding bells are in the future for us. Yay for me again! My son, Allen, graduates from college this December. I'm a proud mama that's for sure! Of course, this too makes me feel as though I am entering my Crone years. LOL Other than my father, no one else in our family ever went or finished college before, so he will the first. As far as I know, even on my son's father's side, no one else has gone to college or graduated either, so another first for him! Ok, so that's about it for me for now. Gonna go and read my e-mail and see what's new with everyone else. Blessed Be everyone!