54 Year Old
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Male
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Joined on February 22, 2007
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Born on April 14th
17
Hello, we are a married couple who likes to cut up and have fun. We live in sunny Florida! We love motorcycle riding and ride every chance we get.We are both fellow firefighters/EMT's, but once we moved to Florida our certifications were not recognized. Matt is a Service Manager for our local Harley Davidson dealership and Cindy is an Administrative Manager for a non-profit educational facility for the blind and visually impaired. She also works part-time at the harley shop.
54 Year Old
·
Male
·
Joined on February 22, 2007
·
Born on April 14th
Interests
Idols
Courtesy of MsTags.com
Courtesy of MsTags.com
Courtesy of MsTags.com
Courtesy of MsTags.com
Courtesy of MsTags.com
Two Mexicans are riding along the Pacific Coast Highway on a motorcycle. They break downand start hitching for a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicansask him for a ride .....He tells them he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls.The Mexicans tell the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with their bike thenwill he take them... and he agrees.They manage to squeeze themselves inside with their motorbike and the driver shuts thedoors and gets off on his way. ....By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.Sure enough the Highway Patrol pulls him over for speeding. ....The good officer asks the driverwhat he is carrying to which he replies Mexican eggs.The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look..... He opens the back doorand quickly shuts it and locks it..... He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from asmany officers as possible.The dispatcher asks what is the emergency he has that requires so many officers."I've got a semi with 20,000 Mexican eggs in the trailer ----- 2 have hatched and they have alreadymanaged to steal a motorcycle."
TRUCK FOR SALE.........A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,"Where did you get that truck???!!!" He calmly told them,"I bought it today.""With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost."Well," said the boy,"this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder."Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said."It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.""Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it."Well," she said,"this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on company trip in Hawaii, He claimed he was on his way home, got mugged and needed cash. but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and doesn't intend coming back.He said he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did."
Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I've done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, vote liberal, are a lawyer or politician, work for an insurance agency or occasionally shit yourself... You hang in there sunshine. You're fucking special...
Old Lady BikerA little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaims"I want to join your biker club." The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her"You have a bike?" The little old lady says"Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the driveway. The biker asks her"Do you smoke?" The little old lady says"Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker is impressed and asks"Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?" The little old lady says"No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."
A Handy Tool...This useful tool is commonly found in the range of 8 inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some of from its long glistening shaft.After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emmanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less. Ah yes, such are the characteristics of one's toothbrush!
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