Places I have visited or lived: South Carolina, Kentucky, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Germany, France, Spain, The Netherlands, England, Switzerland, Italy, Ireland, Austria, Czech Republic, Kuwait, and Iraq.

Shit I have done:

I invented the moon.

Had sex with both the Olsen Twins and the Hilton Twins.

The blow job machine was originally my idea until that bastard Chuck Norris stole it. (we used to be best buds)

I have prophetic visions of the apocalypse.

I achieved Bankai in just two days.

I created a new genre of dance in which people get so into that radiation waves actually pulsate off of them. I call this the microrave.

I reverse-engineered a door.

I snorted a line of Anthrax once and still didn't get it.

When I was 8, a Frisbee flew into my backyard and I blew it up with my mind.

I am a direct descendant of Beowulf.

I beat Uma Thurman in a sword fight.

I can make weapons out of anything, which is very useful in a hostile work environment.

I beat my pornography addiction when I was 19.

I'm proficient in Microsoft Office and Photoshop.

I really have been to all of the places stated above. ^^^

I've never lied.