The clinton tragedy Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a 'tragedy'. One little boy stands up and offers 'If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.' 'No,' Clinton says, 'That would be an ACCIDENT.' A girl raises her hand. 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explains Clinton. 'That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.' The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. 'What?' asks Clinton, 'Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: 'If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy.' 'Wonderful!' Clinton beams. 'Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?' 'Well,' says the boy, 'because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would not be a great loss!'
Favorite artists... There was a woman who absolutely loved the music of Billy Joel and Paul McCartney. She loved them so much she decided to have their images tattooed on her body. She went to a tattoo parlor and told the artist she wanted Billy Joel tattooed on her left thigh, and Paul McCartney tattooed on her right thigh.When the job was completed, the artist gave her a mirror to inspect his work. She exclaimed that neither of the images looked like what they were supposed to be. The artist said let's get another opinion. He went out to the street and asked a drunk to come in and assist with a little problem. There sat the woman, with her legs apart, and the artist asked the drunk what he saw. He replied,"Well...that looks like Billy Joel on her left, Paul McCartney on her right...and that looks like Willie Nelson in the middle."
Martian love The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen bring up the subject of sex."Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen."Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian.Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weeny member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick."I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen."Why?" he asks,"What's the matter?""Well," she replies,"It's just not long enough to reach me!""No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long."Well," she says,"That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow....""No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman."Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways.As they walk along, Mike asks,"Well, was it any good?""I hate to say it," says Maureen,"but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?""It was horrible," he replies."All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
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