My name is Amanda and i'm from Vancouver, the coolest city in the world. I'm smart, funny, open-minded, outgoing, goofy, a bit hyper-active sometimes, definitely not shy, honest, agnostic, and a little crazy.I <3 the following:My friends, energy drinks, food, chocolate, games, traveling, cartoons, watching movies, wild/hot/crazy/rough/break-the-bed sex, music, honesty, and other things that will be named later! I dislike the following and put a curse on them all:Sunburns, boredom, country, rap, paper cuts, people who try to force their views on others, mosquitos, headaches, cig smoke, veal, having my hand slammed in a door, people who are fake, arrogant, narrow-minded, mean, rude, and prejudiced.--------------------------The Life and Death of Paris Hilton and other insanity--------------------------So there I was in the US visiting my friend, Shannon... I know I was in the US because we were watching The Simple Life on TV while eating Hotpockets and drinking Coke. Where else in the world would people do such a thing? Would they do it in Canada? No! Would they do it in England? No! Would they do it in that strange sheep-infested land known as Zealand? Not a chance! Even in Iraq, where national pastimes include decapitation and suicide-bombings, I think they would draw the line! Anyway, there I was eating my ham and cheese Hotpocket and drinking my Coke... I originally had a drink known as Dr Pepper which, unfortunately, was the first time I had tried it. At first I couldn't decide if it naturally tasted that disgusting or if Shannon was trying to poison me. Shannon, noticing the look of horror on my face (which was even worse than the one I had after watching the first two minutes of the Simple Life) offered me a Coke instead. Regardless of her possible treachery with the previous drink, I cautiously accepted her offer. I would have happily swallowed a bottle of acid to remove that vile taste from my mouth though. Anyway, after about 15 minutes of watching the incoherent babble on TV, I began pondering all of the great mysteries of life, such as "Why are we here?" "What is the meaning of life?" and "Why hasn't someone tossed Paris Hilton into a big meat-grinder yet?" I feared the latter one would drive me to the brink of insanity if I spent too much time contemplating it, so I cleared my mine and noticed that during a commercial break shannon had started channel surfing and stopped on MTV... which filled me with rage. I'm obviously not a big fan of Paris, but it pales in comparison to my hatred for MTV! Why do I hate it so much you ask? Well, let's examine MTV's history during the past several years and see what kind of horrors they have unleashed on the unsuspecting world: #1. The Macarena. #2. Uber-Crappy music from people such as Hanson, Eminem, N'sync, Britney Spears, etc... The artists become popular by using the two things that always equal instant success: Sex and controvery, or some other unknown evil that is too horrible to comprehend! And they have help from the MTV DeeJays who constantly shove the crap into our brains and tell us its cool until we actually begin to believe it.#3. Reality TV: Yes, MTV is responsible for the current insanity that has immobilized the world, Reality TV shows. It all started with the Real World and Road Rules. Now we have Survivor, American Idol, America's Next Top Model, Joe Millionaire, The Surreal Life, The Bachelor, Who Wants to Marry My Dad, The Bachelorette, The Osbournes, Boot Camp, Fear Factor, High School Reunion, I'm With Busey, The Joe Schmo Show, Paradise Hotel, Todd TV, Temptation Island, Blind Date, Meet My Folks, and that mindless crap I was watching the night all of this happened! STOP THE INSANITY!!!! STOP IT!!!!! We're like one small step from seeing things like Life Inside My Disgestive System. A new reality show which follows (through some new advanced xray technology and small cameras inserted in the person's rectum) the journey of this person's meals from the moment it is consumed to its unpleasant exit from his body. Yay.#4. They continously play the same songs over and over so that even when you do actually find a decent song in the vast ocean of crap, they play it so much that it becomes unbearable and you start to hate it!#5. Now they have come to the point where they have immobilized people (especially males) even further by becoming pretty much a softcore porn channel. I have come to the conclusion that this is some kind of evil plan to destroy humanity. I believe that if they can cause a certain amount of suffering in the world, they will be able to open a gate to Hell or some other dimension to unleash their army of evil minions on us!! They must be stopped!!Fortunately, she didn't stay on the channel long before she started surfing again. This time she stopped on a channel showing a trailer ofWilla Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which immediately replaced my rage with pleasant thoughts, eventually turning into perverted fantasies involving chocolate and Johnny Depp. A little while later my daydreams were shattered by a blood-curdling scream that almost caused me to jump out of my seat! Had someone finally thrown Paris into the meat-grinder and I had just heard a scream of terror before she was hurled to a gruesome death? No such luck. Shannon was watching part of Scream 2 during another commercial break. Damn it. Now that I was thoroughly disgusted, I decided to go get more Coke which, in hindsight, wasn't a good idea. I walked into the kitchen (with the lights off), spilled Coke on the floor, slipped on the wet floor, and slammed my head into the table before falling to the floor. Everything was a blur and my mind seemed to be drifting back and forth between reality and a place that can only be reached through head trauma or heavy drug use. I realize that one would think a person had to be using drugs to watch the Simple Life in the first place, but that wasn't the case! I remember wishing I was still in the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp chained to my bed before I faded into unconsciousness. I had trouble focusing when I awakened in a bed a while later, but I noticed a man in a white coat standing over me. I quickly reconized him as a doctor and started looking around the hospital room while he was discussing my concussion with Shannon. It may have just been a combination of the head truama and medication, but when I looked over towards the door I thought I saw a midget walk past. He wasn't as easy to reconize as the man in the white coat. Everything was still kind unfocused and midgets generally wear a variety of clothing such as jeans and munchkin costumes, so there was nothing specicic to indentify the dimunitive form walking past my door. Perhaps I was still dreaming and I had just saw an Oompa Loompa! However that theory was quickly proven wrong when I noticed that Johnny was no longer chained to my bed. Damn you, Paris Hilton. Ok, so the part about my accident didn't actually happen. It definitely would have been a nice alternative to watching the Simple Life. :--------------------------A Canadian Werewolf in Paris--------------------------I'm back yet again! Ok, so i'm not really a werewolf and I was in the US instead of Paris. Does that make me a liar, or worse, a politician? Well, I guess it kinda does but um... Anyway, i'm happy to announce that my trip to visit my friend, Shannon, in the US, occurred without any international incidents!Highlights of my trip:* Going with her family (her parents even paid for my ticket, which was very cool) to Disney World in Florida. It was a lot of fun and I have a couple pics of me hugging (molesting) Donald Duck that i'm gonna upload pretty soon. The only bad thing was trying to adapt to the weather there. *Teaching one of her friends a lesson about trying to have a drinking competition with a Canadian. HINT: Don't try to compete with us when alcohol is involved, unless you happen to be irish or russian. ;)* The fact that Shannon's parents enjoyed my often bizarre sense of humor. My parents don't usually understand it. * I was in this store called the Rural King (her parents were buying a grill) and they actually had these little baby chicks. They were so cute, I wanted to put one in my pocket and smuggle it back into Canada. It would rock to have one as a pet and I would turn it into a trained attack chicken when it grows up! It would be cool teaching it to run at someone and peck them in the ankle on command!--------------------------Enneagram Test Amanda, you're a Type 3 - The Entertainer Friends, family, and colleagues likely look up to you for this passion and drive. They're also apt to know that when they come to you with a problem, you can be counted on help them find the kind of solution that will lead to greater self-knowledge and personal growth. You often motivate and inspire others by your good example alone. As an Entertainer, you're also likely to be seen as a valuable and competent person who is worthy of admiration.Being a member of this type puts you in good company. Oprah Winfrey, with her worldwide influence and recognition, and Michael Jordan, one of the most recognized sports figures of all time, are also Type 3s. This means that compared to the eight other Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of self worth, which you're not afraid to show off in a public way. In fact, you're the kind of energetic, charming person who is often committed to being the very best that you can be.