Congratulations! And to think it took you half-wits this long to figure out my true identity.Okay, so I'll admit it. I'm a Victoria's Secret lingerie model. I knew I wouldn't be able to conceal my identity forever. So kudos, psycho ward for sniffing me out, although I have serious doubts that you spotted me while purchasing "drawers" for your "girlfriend." That sounds like precisely the type of story a typical lost cherry member would fabricate. But we all know that in the end it's just a story. Why you ask?A. Guys who buy "drawers" for their "girlfriends" don't spend all day on lostcherry.com looking at pictures of lingerie models.B. Thumbing through your protein spattered catalogue that you hide in your parent's basement does not count as buying "drawers" for your imaginary girlfriend and 7. Everyone knows that guys don't buy their girlfriends "drawers" at Victoria's secret. Trying to pull that one off is precisely the kind of thing that will land your ass surfing lostcherry.com at four in the morning.Before I forget, let me also send a shout out to Wonderboy. After uploading my picture, this "ladies man" (a.k.a. mouth breather) was sending sweet nothings LESS THAN 30 seconds after creating this profile. Are Victoria's Secret models really the type of women that jump at the chance to get to know you? I can tell by your very elusive black and white photo (a.k.a. "don't look at me I'm hideous") and your hand covering your face (a.k.a. chronic acne) that you socialize with lingerie models all the time! I mean honestly, a little reality check every now and again is a healthy thing. Perhaps if I had used a picture from the plus sized Sears catalogue like the majority of the lostcherry fatties, it would have been a bit more plausible. But I suppose that lostcherry.com will continue to appeal to the hopelessly desperate that couldn't manage to strike up a conversation with a woman in a bar or club without peeing themselves. But add a modem, lotion, and a box of Kleenex, mix with total anonymity, and guys like Wonderboy muster up the courage to woo Victoria's Secret lingerie models like little cyber Don Juans (minus personal hygiene of course)With that out of the way, let me tell you a little bit more about myself. In addition to being a Victoria's Secret model, I'm also a NFL kicker and a fire fighter!When I'm not underwear modeling, football kicking, or fighting five alarm blazes, my hobbies include:Having pillow fights with my lingerie model friends:Formula One racing: Rock climbing:look at me go!Base jumping:Downhill Mountain Biking:Scuba Diving: And astronauting on the weekends!I also love to get away on my own private jet: Which I of course take to my own private island! I also love to read! Yup, I read. This classic novel by Stephen Colbert's is a favorite of mine. You should check it out Wonderboy!As all you lostcherry.com members know, "sometimes you can tell more truths about your business in fantasy." Before I leave you lostcherry orphans, let me leave you, my sad, my precious few, with a few words of wisdom.1. Attempting to portray yourself as popular, attractive, and desirable to other loners attempting to portray themselves as popular, attractive, and desirable is a lost cause. In the end, no one is popular, attractive, or desirable and everybody knows it.2. Your social phobia and insecurity will not be addressed by pretending to "socialize" with other social-phobes. The internet is a crutch, not a way to create meaningful connections.3. Finally, if you insist on continuing to waste your time with fantasies and facades, the next time you see a bare ass or cleavage shot, remember, that on the internet: Everybody's Got a Story. "Maybe it's Maybelline" ring a bell?For a bit more insight, search for member "i deleted my profile." It's a fine testament to the idea that there may be hope for you. Perhaps member "i deleted my profile" will inspire you to turn your back on lostcherry.com and go out into the real world for a change. A whole new life can be started if you make it happen. So get up you fatties and go for a walk or something!