Why dose love have to hurt so much!

I have been alone most of my life and have really never known real true love. When I was born my mother gave birth to me in a car. She died at my birth. They found me in her clutches on the side of the highway. I was then passed off to some relatives that really did not really want me or love me. I grew up in this family as the whipping boy. Every time that something went wrong or if one of the other siblings got in trouble it was my fault. Finely I was passed off to foster homes till I became of age that I took my own life into my hands. I tried to live as an honorable person and do my part in life but every time I got my head up it was chopped off. I married twice and both times I lost them do to no fault of my own. The first was when I was in the army and we had a good time for about a year until we had our second child that died of SIDS. They blamed it on me and her family took her away and hid her from me. Never to know where she was. That was in the 80’s. I then stayed single for about 10 years till one night I went to a dance hall one night and this girl asked me to dance. We fell in love for about 11 years till 2001 when she decided to become a dike. She then took all of our children and hid with her lover so that I could not find her or the children. I am still looking for them but have come up empty. I have been alone now every since then. I do try to find girls but none have ever seam to come forward and befriend themselves. So I ask where is the love in my life. Where has it ever gave itself to me. So dose it hurt I would not know for I have never been shown it. I do like girls and will keep trying but if love keeps running away from me how will I ever know it. All my life all I ever wanted was to be held and told that I was loved. To cuttle up by the fire with them one that loves me and hold them.

If anybody out there reads this please tell me what love is or how to find it.